I Talk to the Trees, That's Why They Put Me Away

EoR has previously considered the miracle of pranic healing, but enjoyed an article he found on the Living Now website entitled PRANIC HEALING: Does a No-Touch System Really Work? (gentle reader, can you guess what the answer is before reading further?).

EoR wonders why we bother with doctors at all. Pranic healing is definitely the way to go. Never mind years of study. Or even weeks to become a bowen therapist. Or a week to become a reikiist.

I learned about specific techniques which can correct the imbalances that cause symptoms of disease. There were additional benefits: some dormant clairvoyant, clairaudient and healing abilities were awakened during the two-day course! [...] I was even more impressed when, after the first day's instruction, most of the participants, with no previous training in health care, went home and treated successfully ailing members of their families. Most of them reported that symptoms of musculo-skeletal pain subsided instantly.

And never mind prohibitively expensive hospitals, diagnostic equipment, or even overpriced drugs:

It was demonstrated how we can recharge ourselves by standing beneath a tree and asking its permission to partake of some of its vital, reinvigorating energy. It is important to ask permission of the tree and afterwards to thank it. If this permission is not requested and the tree is 'assaulted' in this manner, then it eventually dies from having absorbed sick energies of people.

As opposed to what happens when the tree absorbs "sick energies" of people when it's asked nicely.

This is repeatable, testable, provable, and not just claims of magic:

Pranic healing is a system which makes instant healing possible for certain conditions. I would like to share a personal experience about this. While cutting a chestnut, the knife slipped and my finger had a deep gash. I asked our son to use the techniques for the instant healing of wounds, so that we could test if the system really worked. It did. The wound stopped bleeding instantly and the skin healed over completely within a few minutes.

And EoR thought stuff like that just happened in the movies.