Sunday, April 16, 2006

Fundamental Advice

Filed, appropriately enough, on the 1st of April, the Telegraph gives this advice from a celibate religious leader, bestselling author and jetsetting media star.

On marriage:
Too many people in the West have given up on marriage. They don't understand that it is about developing a mutual admiration of someone, a deep respect and trust and awareness of another human's needs. The new easy-come, easy-go relationships give us more freedom - but less contentment.

On homosexuality:
It is wrong. [...] A gay couple came to see me, seeking my support and blessing. I had to explain our teachings. Another lady introduced another woman as her wife - astonishing. It is the same with a husband and wife using certain sexual practices. Using the other two holes is wrong.

On sex:
[A] friend asked me what harm could there be between consenting adults having oral sex, if they enjoyed it. But the purpose of sex is reproduction[...]. The other holes don't create life.

On abortion:
I see women who have had abortions because they thought a child would ruin their lives. A baby seemed unbearable - yet now they are older, they are unable to conceive. I feel so sorry for them.

In praise of George Bush:
He is very straightforward.

No, it's not a fundie Christian preacher, it's the newage idol and pinup boy, the Dalai Lama. At least he makes the Pope seem laissez faire.

Of course, if you think these attitudes are medieval or worse, it's your own karmically induced fault. You probably did something unspeakable with a wrong hole in a past life.

All together now: "One hole good, three holes baaaaad".


  1. lol@ 1 hole good, 3 holes bad ("orwellianisms" seem to spring to mind easily these days)

  2. Well, Happy Oestre or whatever, EOR. And thanks for the images of the DL as a pin-up boy, now I am imagining him with robes artfully askew, posed in an odalisque/parinirvana drape.

    Seriously, though, why does he feel obliged to even answer those questions about which his opinion is meaningless?

  3. I've yet to figure out why that jackass has so much clout. I mean he can't even fly or decrease crime with his mind power. I'll take the Maharishi anyday over Baldy McGee.


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