The Only Diagnostic Machine You'll Ever Need

EoR loves magic woo machines, like the Quantum (QXCI) Energy Scan.

This machine has it all:

State of the art computerized health assessment ‘biofeedback - bridging the gap between science and complementary therapies’

That would be the logic gap then? Or perhaps the evidence gap?

This technology is known as the Quantum Xrroid Consciousness Interface (QXCI) or the Quantum Energy Scan.

"Xrroid"? Any relation to haemmorhoids?

The "functioning" of this device is also highly illogical and confused:

There are over 7,500 items programmed into the Quantum as frequencies. Each person will have a greater or lesser reaction to these frequencies depending on their own unique energy field at the time. The reaction to frequencies is assessed by the person’s unconscious not the computer or the practitioner - a skilled practitioner needs to determine why the person reacted to a particular item.

Quite apart from the woo gibberish about "frequencies" (these people wouldn't know a frequency from a wavelength) it seems the computer is not even needed, since "the person's unconscious" assesses the results. Though why the patient has to be unconscious at the time is anybody's guess. And even though a practitioner is not needed a practitioner is needed to assess the results. That statement sort of disappears in a puff of logically fallacious smoke.

An example of some of the7,500 items included in the test are foods, vitamins and minerals, viruses, bacteria, toxins, fungi, parasites, chemicals, hormones and dental materials

Ah, 'toxins'... EoR is willing to bet that it always detects 'toxins'. It also highlights "more subtle warning signals", presumably including things like wonky auras.

It is not easy to explain how such technology works - especially if you are not a quantum physicist!

Which these people clearly are not. EoR bets they've never even been near a high energy particle collider.

The Health & Longevity Journal in the UK explains it like this: "The basis of the QXCI technology is the transmission of 65 million tiny electro-magnetic signals into the body, many times per second. These pulses help map the body and its organs and reveal anomalies within the body. The signals feedback to the QXCI machine and without the patient even being aware of any effect or sensation, the machine calculates a mathematical model based on the voltage, amperage and resistance of the body." [...] As an electronic feedback device the Quantum is also able to deliver energetic therapy for pain, detoxification, allergies and trauma (both physical and emotional). It can stimulate immune function, destroy pathogens and help detoxify free radicals with the use of its inbuilt supportive therapies which help facilitate healing functions.

"Inbuilt supportive therapies"! Precisely what therapies? How are they inbuilt? EoR suspects a few diodes and capacitors and maybe, just maybe, in the high end model, a transistor. Maybe even with connecting wires. It isn't really clear in the single picture, but it looks like the usual marvellous small plastic box with a couple of leads and what EoR suspects might be a homeopathic bottle placed in a receptacle (or could it be bottled subtle energy?), as well as a headband and some ankle and heel straps. Very impressive. EoR bets the electronics inside might even fill a tenth of the available space.

The Quantum device electronically challenges the body with a fractal (the mathematical equivalent of a shape or image) of biologically active compounds. These compounds include such items as medicines, vitamins, pathogens and homoeopathics. The reactivity of the individual is measured using Fourier mathematics.

EoR used to have nightmares about being challenged by fractals. Horrible slavering things. Seriously, this isn't even bad science fiction. Someone's just written out all the quantum/alternative therapy words they can think of on separate bits of paper, thrown them in the air, and copied out whatever the runes told them.

The Quantum is also able to use this non-linear analysis to develop multi signals for deep tissue interface.

There follows a brief explanation of resonance (a child on a swing [not resonance at all - that's frequency!], an opera singer shattering a glass). Shouldn't this machine increase the illnesses and ailments of the patient if it's resonating at all the bad "frequencies"? Could the patient's body potentially shatter like the glass if a particularly evil Stress Toxin Frequency is resonated too strongly? Shouldn't there be a health warning on this machine? Something like "Use of this device may potentially damage your brain cells"? Or, as the blurb has it,

Since the ionic exchanges of reaction take place in the body at speeds in the centisec range our computer can easily interact to measure the energetic components of the body. Then with a feedback loop, the computer can auto-focus treatment.

Apart from the fact that that statment means absolutely nothing that could be construed in any sense as logical, possible, scientific or intelligent, anyone who's experienced feedback will know it's a wild rollercoaster ride as frequencies spill out of control. It can also lead to damaged electronic components, let alone blasted and withered body organs. Of course, that would only be if this machine actually worked or did anything.

The computer is calibrated through a cybernetic feedback loop via the harness to allow testing to reach at least 85% accuracy. This has to be established in order to do the test. The test takes about four minutes during which time the client is relaxed and still and the therapies [sic] leaves the room.

85% accuracy? With 7,500 items to be tested, that means that potentially 1,125 possible health issues are being missed! Furthermore, if the test takes 4 minutes and, as stated earlier, 65,000,000 pulses are involved in the test, that's a frequency rate of 270kHz. Better known to the rest of us as radio waves.

Like the best alternative therapies

The Quantum can stimulate the body’s own natural healing powers enabling a more curative outcome on all three levels - physical, mental and emotional.

But probably not financial.