An Alternative Therapy That Works

Bruichladdich has developed a traditional all-natural herbal supplement with potent pain killing effects:

The world’s most alcoholic single malt ever made has been revived by the ancient tradition of quadruple distilled single malt. More than 300 years ago the legendary traveller Martin Martin recorded his impressions after encountering a similar whisky on his visit to the Hebrides in 1695. In his travel book, The Western Islands of Scotland, Martin refers to a quadruple distilled whisky known as "usquebaugh-baul" - the Gaelic for ‘perilous whisky’ [...] and wrote what is probably the world’s oldest whisky tasting note: "... the first taste affects all the members of the body: two spoonfuls of this last liquor is a sufficient dose; and if any man should exceed this, it would presently stop his breath, and endanger his life."

The resulting product is around 90% alcohol, and apparently manufactured according to time honoured homeopathic principles:

The more it was distilled, the purer the alcohol, the better the extraction of the active agent.

Also worth listening to is Douglas Laing's folk protest song:

There's a secret installation on the Western seas,
Cunningly disguised among the Hebrides.
It might seem innocent to those who are naive
But this could bring a superpower to its knees.

So be careful how you're stepping round this deadly lethal weapon,
Tell all the patriots it's time to enlist.
We've got to take some action against this Weapon of Mass Distraction,
Oh, we can't let Al Qaeda get their hands on this.

Now I am a US internet spy,
And I've seen what they're up to with my own eyes.
They say it's only whisky, but I'm telling you,
They tested it on the local folk and I've seen what it can do.