Talking in (Star) Tongues

A brief break from the lunacies of homeopathy for something much more sensible: Solreta Antaria (EoR suspects this is not her Real Name but wonders why if she has such "a strong connection with the star system Sirius" she isn't called Solreta Siruisa?).

Solreta appeared last night on John Safran's Speaking in Tongues claiming to be an 'indigo' child (all born around 1980 she informed us - shades of John Wyndham's The Midwich Cuckoos), to have been clairvoyant from an early age, to be able to speak in ancient tongues (Atlantean, or was it Sirian? EoR got a bit confused) and to have higher spiritual and psychic energies. She then proceeded to speak in her magic language (which other 'indigo' children can apparently understand without training). EoR was unfortunately unprepared for this, and was unable to transcribe it, but it seemed to be some sort of faux-Polynesian with a preponderance of vowels ("ah ooh ah nana wanny woo" etc). It also seems to be related to her self-created magic which she calls Sirian Healing:

In short, the energy that this star brings has a profound effect on humanity and Solreta has learnt to harness this in a healing manner that brings the client to a greater spiritual awareness. [...] Solreta primarily provides her healings through the Sacred Sirian language of love that touches the very depths of our souls. This vibrational healing is a key to unlocking blocked emotions and energies from the past, within this life or others. The healings also utilize a frequencing alignment with Gems, Flower Essences, Sound and Colour with each session being unique and different for everybody.

Unique and different? EoR is suitably impressed.

Mr Safran invited viewers who understood her glossolaliac gibberish to email the translation to him. EoR was struck with a blinding light, and was perhaps one of the few who truly understood her words. He immediately dashed off the important information that Solreta had channelled to him: "If you take too many drugs you can end up like me. Just say 'no'".

EoR looks forward to the emails of other enlightened beings.

Solreta could be described as many things: bizarre, scary (she has these unsettling staring eyes), loony, deranged, or possibly just grasping and manipulative.

She's a fully qualified therapist in such powerful modalities as Holistic (or is it Wholistic?) Kinesiology, Transformational Kinesiology (doesn't (W)Holistic Kinesiology also, by definition, include this?), Reiki, Crystal Dreaming™ ("These techniques open all channels to the spirit world and beyond, facilitating interdimensional travel" - $A100), Alchemy and Soul Star Workshops.

She also runs the Australian College of Energetic Medicine (presumably, as opposed to the Australian College of Lazy Medicine). This is a Registered Training Organisation. EoR wonders what you have to do to qualify as a Registered Training Organisation. It seems it's all about having audit procedures in place, and complaints procedures, and so on. What you're actually proposing to 'teach' has nothing to do with it. For example, providing Dimensional Therapy:

"Dimensional Therapy also frontiers the application of sacred geometry to the physical body, putting the Egyptian dimensional principles into a technical application and using ancient math to align the frequencies of the human vehicle with corresponding Egyptian healing secrets".

Where does this knowledge come from? Apparently, it is "channelled information from Kryon, the Pleiades, Orion, Lyra and Vega systems". EoR is appalled that someone who casually chats to beings from other star systems is a Registered Training Organisation. Presumably, all you need is a Certificate of Lunacy. Furthermore,

"Dimensional Therapy is the art of identification of destabilisations in the five bodies of human consciousness. The body is re-stabilised through the use of comprehensive correspondences to sacred geometry, planetary influences, connection point and string interferences, and dimensional life interchange and recognition techniques. Unlocking the secrets hidden in numbers, the Qabalah, The Flower of Life and sacred geometry, the body can be restabilised. Analysing and feeling the auric and etheric pattern, distortions in the physical energy field are identified through the use of forearm frequency matching".

EoR can feel his brain turning to mush already...

Solreta also sells tuning forks which can tune in angels and crystals, and designs and sells newage jewelry including The African Mother:

A cool breeze blows through the open planes of the African land, there is a woman boldly standing with her children who are crying over the loss of their farther, his ashes are carried away in the wind. The strength of their mother is reflected in the powerful beads she wears around her neck. Her name is Isis. This combination is very powerful, the tigers iron helps bring out inner strength and give the power to keep on going, it maintains and balances the root chakra, and is very good for emotional release, it is also beneficial for those who are feeling exhausted.

and the Elfian Princess:

This necklace comes from the old world, it is said that when worn it will align you to the ethereal plane; this is where the more subtle beings live. Rainbows woven in copper, this necklace reflects the delicate nature of the elves.
"We elves work with the mother (nature), who speaks to us all, she is part of us, take time to stop and listen, and you can find your heart amongst the trees."