Sunday, November 20, 2005

Cure Every Disease! Guaranteed! Failures Your Fault.

EoR recently had occasion to look up the subject of 'equine bladder cancer' on the internet. He now understands why internet 'research' is a misnomer.

The top hit was from Robert McDowell, an Australian purveyor of SCAMs. According to him:

This modern day distortion of normal feeding habits leave them unable to properly eliminate toxins accumulating in the blood and the lymphatic system and the end result of this can be a breakdown in the immunity within these systems and cancer. [...] This powerful immunity booster and blood and lymphatic cleansing program has the potential to reverse Lymphatic Cancer in Horses.

There's those nasty toxins again, making all those cancers, but Mr McDowell can cure cancer. Sorry, has the 'potential' to cure cancer. Sorry, wants your money.

Another high-ranking hit was from what is probably the web's largest cesspool of irrationality, Shirley's Wellness Cafe. According to Shirley, it seems just about anything will cure cancer (except for evil practices like drugs, chemotherapy and surgery). EoR was pleased to learn that

Cancer like other diseases is curable in Homeopathy. Why and how ? To understand this, one has to understand the basic principle of homeopathy. According to the principle of cure in Homeopathy, there is nothing that is incurable provided there is sufficient energy 'Vital Force' in the patient at the time of taking to or restorting to homeopathic treatment. According to homeopathic scientists, without the cause, there cannot be a disease. So the cause should be traced. If we find out the root of the disease than there must be a medicine for it.

EoR almost vomited on this quote. This sort of utter bullshit is offensive in the extreme. Here are hopeless scamsters and magicians demanding your money with promises of curing anything and everything and, if it doesn't work, it's not their fault, it's yours for failing to have enough 'vital energy'. EoR hopes these people all die slowly and horribly from cancer.

If homeopathic magic doesn't work, there's always the old standby of magic energy waving:

Healing by intention, on the other hand, is pure magic - making changes in the physical world by thought alone. There is by now a vast body of scientific studies, carried out under the most exacting scrutiny and often carried out by scientists in order to de-bunk the idea that intention alone can heal, that simply prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that it really, really works.

So, let's get this straight. Shirley is telling us magic has been proved by science? A 'vast body of studies'? It doesn't just 'work'. It doesn't even 'really work'. It 'really, really works'. Really and truly? Cross your heart? Are the scientists all too busy lining up for James Randi's $1,000,000 to publish? EoR wanted to email Shirley to question this particular point, but couldn't locate an email address anywhere on her site (which EoR also notes, in passing, deserves an award for one of the worst designed sites on the web, quite apart from its lies). Maybe she only accepts contact on the etheric plane.

And, yes, EoR did learn quite a bit about bladder cancer, but had to look at the legitimate human sites to avoid the alternative woo overload.

1 comment:

  1. Shirley's Wellness cafe was quite the treat. My favourite bit:

    I own several homeopathic kits at home and I keep one kit in the clove [sic, I think] compartment of my car for emergencies. I find the cost of the kits to be much more economical than individual bottles. On average one homeopathic bottle in a kit cost about US$ 2.35 instead of $9+ for a single individual bottle. I only use one to three tiny little pellets as a dose when treating myself, my family or my pets. Unlike allopathic medicine, the size and quantities of homeopathic pellets make no difference in the therapeutic results. One pellet, the size of a grain of sugar has the same therapeutic effect as a pellet the size of a pea. Likewise, twenty pellets have the same therapeutic effect as one pellet.. . . Shirley

    I'm just trying to imagine the kind of "emergency" this kit would be good for.


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