Monday, November 07, 2005

Second Opinion

EoR sadly watches Second Opinion every Tuesday night. For those unfamiliar with it, Second Opinion is the alternative health care program broadcast on the national, taxpayer funded broadcaster, full of anecdotal miracle cure stories, a lack of journalistic standards, and wide-eyed wonderment at the power of shamans, voodoo doctors, energy healers and their ilk.

Last Tuesday's programs presented miracle stories about:

Acupuncture: this told the sad tale of a second year medical student who suffered facial paralysis, underwent various tests and treatment in hospital (never specified) and then turned to the needling. As usual, any decrease in symptoms was attributed solely to the acupuncture. The patient admitted he didn't know what he had, and didn't know what cured it. I hope his university sees this, and fails him from his medical degree.

The acupuncturist helpfully stated that meridians are like the wiring in a house. EoR will be poking needles in wires tomorrow to ensure free flow of energy, and release of toxins.

Sound therapy for treating tinnitus: this was an absolute rort! $A4500 for the deluxe premium edition! The patient opted for the $A400 el cheapo version! For this amount he got four cassettes of classical music! And not even properly recorded (part of the power of the therapy is to have deliberately badly recorded tapes, apparently)! Completely resolved the tinnitus. So he tells us.

Feldenkrais to treat scoliosis: looks like a variant of the Alexander Technique, which is a variant of the 'pay attention and improve your posture' school. Making people aware of their bad habits and more conscious of their posture is good. It can also be done for free (as opposed to $A100 a session). But what a goldmine! Regardless of the patient's optimism that she might, one day, no longer need to see the witch, the witch assured us she will need treatment for the rest of her life (and the magic 'maintenance' word was also mentioned). Agreed with the technical description of this method: "manipulative therapy". Indeed.

Looking forward to next week when Tomatis Listening Therapy (are these
people funding this program? they seem to appear every week) cures Down's Syndrome and autism.

2 comments:

  1. This American is curious what a "rort" is.

    The magician can cure Down's? He/she can physically modify the chromosomal structure of each cell nucleus in the sufferer's body? Impressive.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Rort: colloq. Scam, ripoff, con. Syn: homeopathy, aura reading, reiki.

    ReplyDelete

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