Monday, November 28, 2005

Channelling Inanities

A few days ago I blogged in wonder at indigo child Solreta Antaria who channels messages from Kryon.

What I didn't know at the time is that Kryon has also gone to the trouble of creating his own website (actually, a whois lookup shows it's registered to 'the kryon writings inc.' and the contact person is Lee Carroll, Kryon's emissary-in-chief on earth). On the site you can read actual channellings from "Kryon of Magnetic Service" (though most seem to have the disclaimer that "To help the reader, this channelling has been rechannelled" ie rewritten). Really freaky things like "How Big is God?":

However, in interdimensional time, the readers are here now. I'll prove it: Reader, are you with me? [Smile] I can "see" your eyes on the page! Reader, to you, this live conference was in the past. But for both of you, reader and listener, we see you together right now. That's what makes this energy here so large and so complete.

EoR could hardly credit it. When he read that sentence about his "eyes on the page" his eyes were on the page! Exactly as foretold! Oh, and the answer to the riddle is

God is bigger than anything you can conceive... yet small enough to live in your heart.

How twee. Channelled information from an angel in the stars that sounds like an inane positive affirmation made by an idiot. But Kryon doesn't just spout platitudes. Oh no, he's firmly scientific. Take DNA for example:

It's a spiritual time, here... a sweet time... whatever that means to you.

Um, yes. Exactly.

...We now are now even labeling the DNA layers. We're giving them names in Hebrew. Some have asked, "Why are they in Hebrew? Why are they not in an older language such as Lemurian or perhaps Sumerian?" The answer: Go find a dictionary of Sumerian and Lemurian and we might do that... but there is no such thing.

Kryon must have been sleeping, or just too involved with cosmic rebalancings to have noticed a Sumerian lexicon. EoR expects Kryon to immediately correct his oversight and rename everything in Sumerian. Or admit he's a rather boring, bad and unoriginal bullshit artist.

Incidentally, EoR wonders how many of Kryon's True Believers are simultaneously happy to have their DNA fiddled with, and are also stridently anti-GM.

The ninth layer of DNA is called Shechinah-Esh. Shechinah-Esh. We will translate that in our way, as the Flame of Expansion. It's layer nine. Now let me tell you what it is and what it does. Like the others, it's an interdimensional layer, and this is esoteric information that can never be proven in your lifetime. But some of you will know this since it rings with truth. You see, layer nine is what's missing in layer one! You might even say that layer nine is what makes the "junk" work! And when you put layer nine and layer one together, you get a completion of communication to the rest of the interdimensional layers. [...] Layer Nine even has its own patron saint, St. Germaine.

So, to summarise:

  • These claims can never be proven

  • These claims are true because it 'rings' with truth

So 'stuff' (ie magical maniacal meanderings) is true because it can never be proven to be true. Goodbye scientific process. Hello madness.

Then Kryon comes up with a single, profound statement that EoR can fully agree with:

Ridiculous, isn't it?

EoR promises hard not to laugh out loud.


  1. The Kryton website is fantastic.

    Go to Lee Carroll's special instruction page. Under Responsibilities he says: "Many men and women are spouting verbiage these days, calling it inspired... some on web pages just like this. How can you tell if it's real or not, since there is no organization telling you who is "OK" and who is not? (Aren't you glad?)."

    He says Kryton has a sense of humour. He's right.

  2. Ah, of course, translate DNA into lemurian, why didn't I think of that. I'll just trot on over to the zoo and chat with the lemurs, eh?

    Oh, that other Lemuria, is it? The hipper version of Atlantis? The lost island of wizards that entities in-the-know all hail from (that was before they had the other lifetimes, like the one where they were a princess in Ye Olde Egypte).

    Last Christmas, at a party, I met a guy who is oh so full of himself, (he actually said, "These are the hands of a healer" while showing me his hands), who had to tell me how he is going to reprogram his aunt's DNA so she won't be able to get Alzheimer's disease. See, he is going to activate extra strands of the DNA.
    It was so depressingly dumb and he was such an egomaniac, I just kind of wandered away.

    Now, I wish I had asked him if his "reprogramming" the DNA is some cosmic babelfish trick. He was so conventionally ludicrous, so uncreative and derivative, though, his DNA probably speaks Esperanto.


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