Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I Am Not A Number, I Am A Free Man!

Many people struggle to form a relationship with their horses. Some turn to the marketing frenzy of "natural" horsemanship, but there is a better, more straightforward, and simpler method: Your Life Patterns.

EoR first discovered this in an article by Catherine Bird at an equestrian website. It should be noted that Catherine Bird is an aromatherapist, herbalist, massager, bodyworker and "spiritual" kinesiologist (as if there's any other kind, especially if you consider "spiritual" as a synonym for "fictional").

Your Life Patterns shows how our seemingly complicated lives can be reduced to a single digit. Once we understand the vibration of this digit and its supporting minor digits we get valuable insights into the patterns in our lives and instead of being a victim we can take control and get what we want from life. When we understand the impact our own energy has on others around us, which can be easily identified with this system of numbers that has been skilfully developed by Larayne Porter, we can then understand how we have been limiting ourselves in all aspects of our inner and outer world. [...] Someone’s date of birth and then their name when reduced to a single digit being from one to nine can give us insights not only on how they perceive us but also how we can be accepted once we learn how to weave our way through our own and others filters of perception. You can say this is numerology, but this system when explained by Larayne is more than that. Numerology gives you some lovely warm fuzzy ideal aspects of yourself, but few of us are able to step into the positive aspects because of the denseness around us. Whereas Your Life Patterns gives you insights to the negative aspects you generate from each number in your pattern and how it blocks you truly being the best you can. The application as presented in this paradigm can help anyone with any challenge they may face.

Powerful stuff! Not only is this personality by numbers (but, remember, this is not numerology), it's also a "paradigm", and can help with any challenge you may face. You can use it with horses (though EoR is unsure whether you need to work out your horse's magic number - but, remember, this is not numerology - as well):

If we are brave enough to look and be more aware of our own patterns sometimes we may be quick enough to avoid the development of what we don’t want reflected back to us by our horses.

You can use it for love, for work, for health (who knows, you may be part of the unlucky tenth of the population who has the "unlucky" number that makes you "prone to muscular skeletal issues" (knowing this, the author promises, could significantly reduce your chiropractic bill!). And it's not just about the numbers (but, remember, this is not numerology):

The simplicity of this approach uses healing rays and symbols with the skills you develop in kinesiology processes (muscle testing) to help you improve all aspects of your life.

Woo on woo until you're smothered in nonsense and paradigmatic statements that wouldn't be out of place in a womens' magazine agony column. Your Life Patterns has its own website for those brave enough to face an onslaught of psychobabble and patently misleading statements such as that Your Life Patterns will:

Help you to see how to deal with your life from a realistic perspective.... rather than fantasy, illusion and idealism...

Of course, working your personality out by getting a number from your date of birth (but, remember, this is NOT numerology) is totally unrelated to fantasy, illusion, idealism or even selfdelusion. No, it is clearly scientifically proven reality. This scam is certainly not exclusionary, promising benefits for those aged 1 to 100. Pray tell, exactly what benefit would a one year old get? Please explain, as EoR is really intrigued. There's a whole section on Your Life Pattern for Kids (though EoR assumes they mean children) so that they can be indoctrinated early in this magic number method (but, remember, this is REALLY NOT numerology) of personality analysis. This (like the rest of the site) is short (well, devoid would be more accurate) of actually saying anything about how the method operates, and long on pointing out any normal behaviour as a sign that you need to pay these people money to solve the problems they claim you're having (how many teenagers, for example, don't have signs such as questioning authority, unable to reason and control feelings, difficulty making choices, difficulties with parents and relationship problems?). It goes on and on. Could you be one of those teenagers who are influenced by peer groups? Who resent authority figures? Who are troubled by puberty? Then Your Life Patterns And Not Numerology At All is for you!

EoR wonders how many schools and teachers are promoting this woo as well, since it's also being pushed towards those target audiences (though, basically, everyone seems to be part of the target audience).

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