Thursday, January 05, 2006

I Hear Voices...

EoR is fascinated by past life regressions, and has been investigating this in relation to animal communicators.

First, a quick overview of a few of these shysters (EoR hasn't got the time or the desire to look at them all - Google gave over 13,000,000 hits for "animal communicator past life")...

There's Pam Sourelis who assures us in no uncertain terms in the very first sentence of What is Animal Communication? that
All creatures are telepathic, able to send and receive non-verbal, non-physical messages.

It's on the interent. It's in writing. It must be true. Forget proof or evidence. This poor woman is deeply mired in woodom:
As an animal communicator, I use Reiki energy to open a channel of communication between myself and my animal clients. The Reiki opens my heart chakra, quiets my mind, and enables me to receive the animal's message at the same time that it soothes, calms, and heals the animal.

Translation: "I can wave my hands around, go into a sort of daze, and have a very vivid imagination which, alas, only allows me to state cliches".

A dog apparently told his owner, via the mediumistic wonder,
information about a past life he had shared with her.

Ms Sourelis also practices SENSE (Strength with Elegance through Natural Somatic Education). She carefully points out
The SENSE practitioner does not:
Diagnose or treat medical conditions
Make any "adjustments" to an animal's spine or joints
"Fix" an animal
Dispense any substances, either for internal or external use
Place hands on an injured animal or work with an animal in acute pain

before launching into a lengthy list of medical conditions that she can cure. And, of course,
Please note: It is also appropriate to call a SENSE practitioner before movement problems such as these manifest themselves.

because then you'll never know whether it's done anything or not, there isn't the pressure on Ms Sourelis to 'cure', and she still gets all that lovely money.
Then there's Georgina Cyr:
An Animal Communication is a telepathic "two-way conversation" between a human and another animal, such as a dog, cat, or a horse. An Animal Communicator, also called an Interspecies Communicator or Pet Psychic, has the ability to telepathically connect with another species

There's that telepathy again. She'll even train you how to do it yourself (six modules at $225 per module plus shipping and handling). A bargain. Particularly when it includes things like
Animal Angel Music CD The Animal Angel Music CD was specially channeled for Georgina by Gabrielle Silva. Gabrielle has channeled this music from the animal angels, whose gentle energy assists to help you to stay focused while communicating with an animal

and the assurance that
You need not be worried about your results: this is a training program, and there is not necessarily a cut-and-dried "correct" and "incorrect" answer or response.

You will also learn
Communicating with Plants, Fairies & Divas

Then there's Nicole who chats to the animals in three different ways:
The first style of communication is direct or telepathic.

They're all doing it! How can anyone deny the reality of telepathy now? She also chats to animal angels, and has 'visions'. I bet she does. But even with all these angels, gods, and fireside chats, some animals
may be trouble makers or tricksters who find it fun to tell jokes or even flat out lies!

So Nicole is never wrong. The animal lied. Give me a break. Nicole, like the others featured today, are deranged delusional nutters.
On to Holly Gray who states
This is my story about the name Solomon's Ring, and why it has such meaning for me. About the time I was going to set up this web site, I had the opportunity to do a past life regression. I specifically did the regression in order to learn more about a past life that my equine friend, Abe, had revealed to me. The regression was so insightful! Abe and I were in Brazil in the early 1700's. We lived in the forest. We spent our days walking through the forest, talking to the animals and fairies.

There's also a photo of Abe
with two of his guides. Abe is an old soul with a vast knowledge of the universe and the power within it.

So how come he's got his nose on the ground eating grass between piles of manure while blurry lights play fancifully about his head? Is that the Meaning of Life? I don't think Ms Gray is the real telepathic McCoy though, since she can only rustle up one fulminating amazing mindnumbingly incredible testimonial.

EoR wonders why people always remember past lives as Cleopatra, Napoleon, or maybe Alexander the Great's Chief Eunuch, and why horses always remember past lives as horses, and dogs as dogs, etc etc? Is this some sort of Nietschean Eternal Return? Are we doomed forever to go on and on doing the same things?

But then, how come when every one of these 'animal communicators' is asked to chitchat with a deceased animal, it's always 'passed over' and 'happy'? Are animals only now starting to finally leave the cycle of rebirth and achieve doggy heaven? Why?

And how can truly amazing people like Allison "World's Only Real Psychic" Dubois chat to the dear departed (and get stunning revelations such as "She's near water") if people are constantly being reborn as more people?

And why are there more people now than there have been alive in the past? Where do all those new souls come from? More pertinently, where did they fit in all those past lives? Were there two or three souls per Cleopatra? Did Napoleon have a whole village of souls wandering about in him?

EoR's head hurts. He's leaving now to chat to some very nice microbes he knows who are really fairies in disguise.

i am taking advantage of eors absence for a moment boss to interject an observation why do humans think they are always so important that they are reborn as humans question mark there are more of us cockroaches than there have ever been humans exclamation mark this gives reason to pause for thought

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