Thursday, March 29, 2007

The Power Of Fairy Dust

Some therapies bear no relation to reality at all. Take Neural Depolarization (which, for some unexplained reason, is abbreviated to NDP) for example.

Neural Depolarization is Kathy Oddenino’s technique that she uses with clients as a unique spiritual energy to balance the nervous system, stop pain, balance our energy flow, and prevent disease. Kathy was taught this technique by her spirit consciousness when she was a child and learning to heal herself.


In terms of its ability to ramble on meaninglessly about "energy", "balance", "flow" and its multilevel healing ability, NDP is actually far from unique. It's just like all the other countless "rebalancing" woos out there. Just with a different trademarked name.

Depending upon Kathy's assessment, the client may lie on a table or sit in a chair, as Kathy uses her fingertips to work with the client's own energy and the nerves in the client's body.


Work on the nerves? How? Why? You're also advised to wear clothing made from natural fibres since, for some further unexplained reason, non-natural fibres adversely affect this magic energy. How? Why?

Luckily, Ms Oddenino is prepared to explain the science behind her spiritual guide revealed healing. Well, her version of science anyway:

Our physical external interpretation of our design, structure, and function has kept us from knowing ourselves as a fractal pattern of Nature, Earth, and the Universe.


Remember: you're just a fractal pattern of nature. Presumably, no matter how closely you look at the human body, it will always, infinitely, look exactly the same. Little homunculi in homunculi.

We are whole as a chemical dual soul, spirit, and physical body.


What's a "chemical dual soul" anyone? Again, it sounds like more renaissance alchemical mysticism meets meaninglessly inserted scientific keywords. It's a sort of mumbo-jumbo Neoplatonism. EoR wonders why Ms Oddenino doesn't also refer to the authority of the Sephirothic quantum uncertainties of our bodies, or Hermes Trismegistus's electromagnetic writings? Oh, hang on, there's this:

Our nervous system provides the electromagnetic energy to heal our physical body. The relationship of our nervous system to the anatomy, physiology, and physical function of our body can now be understood. Once we can understand this relationship, we can learn the "secret" of Kathy Oddenino’s Basic Energy Healing Techniques. This understanding will allow us to go one step further in our personal and societal healing process by using these Basic Energy Healing Techniques as a non-invasive energy therapy in all diseases of the physical body. When we follow the Basics of Healing and we use Neural Depolarization on a systematic basis, we can keep our physical body balanced and youthful. Neural Depolarization is effective in most forms of disease and pain.


You can use it "in all diseases of the physical body" (sadly, not the chemical dual soul, or the spirit) even though it's only effective in "most" diseases. Presumably, it's also "non-invasive" since it can't even penetrate non-natural fibres. Then there's the claim to more woo secrets. And why would anyone want to be neurally "depolarized" in the first place? Even if it wasn't a meaningless statement? Well, maybe to stop yourself exploding in a poof of releasing energy:

When we do not have the proper chemicals, our cells begin to create a distortion of the cell as antimatter.


Antimatter in our cells! Run for the hills! Be very careful to avoid sick people who, EoR assumes, have the largest amount of antimatter polluting their bodies.

The diseases and dis-eases are excesses and deficiencies that are not recognized by medicine because they do not understand the lifeforce energy within the physical cellular matter. [...] We cannot live without our lifeforce energy flowing through at least the primary nervous system of the dual soul and spirit consciousness.


Medicine does recognise the lifeforce energy within the physical cellular matter. Oh, hang on again. Ms Oddenino means some sort of unseen, unseeable, undetectable, unmeasurable (read "nonexistent") mystic energy. EoR likes to call it "fairy dust".

EoR also looks forward to the revised biology textbooks that also include chapters on the separate nervous systems in the soul and spirit consciousnesses.

As spiritual sensory beings, we are created with an infinitely beautiful design as a thinking mind, loving emotions, and spirit senses. What we create, we can heal.


Which must mean, surely, if Ms Oddenino can "heal" people, she can also "create" them (stop snickering at the back there)? Or has EoR just become confused by the total lack of logic here?

As human beings, we are equal in our design. We are created to be self-healing organisms.


So, we don't actually need Ms Oddenino then?

Maybe Ms Oddenino would like to discuss our "equal design" and "self-healing" marvels to sufferers of cystic fibrosis (for a start). Then multiple sclerosis. And Parkinson's Disease. And Autism. Etc.

[Thanks to Liz Ditz for destroying EoR's mind by bringing this to his attention.]

2 comments:

  1. It's Liz from I Speak of Dreams.

    See in between taxes & reading & researching "whole language" claims, my brain is already a soupy pudding; I couldn't take on any more woo, and so batted it over to you.

    Thanks for the yeoman work.

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  2. "EoR also looks forward to the revised biology textbooks that also include chapters on the separate nervous systems in the soul and spirit consciousnesses."

    Beware. This may come to be (along with an ID chapter). Of course we would need multiple editions to cope with the vast anatomical variations riddling the soul and spirit consciousnesses.

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