The Secret Of Delusion

Sadly, EoR missed "The Secret" when it was shown on late night television recently. Never mind, it's available for download (for money) at The Secret. He also had to put up with a radio talkback host raving about it for hours the next day, fielding calls from amazed supporters (who all seemed to be middle-aged women) as well as the owner of a newage shop who was happy to promote both it and herself.

According to the official website:

This is The Secret to everything - the secret to unlimited joy, health, money, relationships, love, youth: everything you have ever wanted.

According to Wikipedia:

The Secret uses a documentary format to present its "transforming" message - the "Law of Attraction". This law is the secret that, according to the tagline, "has travelled through centuries to reach you". The film features interviews of professionals in the business of promoting, teaching, or writing about the concept of the "Law of Attraction". Interspersed among the interviews are testimonials, real-life stories, and quotes from historical figures. As put forth in the film, the "Law of Attraction" principle posits that our feelings and thoughts affect real events in the world, from the workings of the entire cosmos to interactions among individuals in their physical, emotional, and professional affairs. The film also suggests that there has been a conspiracy to keep this central principle hidden from the public. [...] The film interviews "Secret teachers" (professionals and authors) in the fields of quantum physics, psychology , metaphysics, theology, philosophy, finance, feng shui, medicine, and personal development, with some of these individuals, at their websites, promoting the film and their connection to it.

This seems like "The Twilight Zone" meets "What the Bleep Do We Know" meets "Wall Street" ("Greed is good!"). From Wikipedia again:

Journalist Jeffrey Ressner, reporting in Time Magazine, writes that some critics are concerned with the films attitude towards "using ancient wisdom to acquire material goods". In one example in the film, "a kid who wants a red BMX bicycle cuts out a picture in a catalog, concentrates real hard, and is rewarded with the spiffy two-wheeler."

And also one devoted follower and promoter:

"I've seen kidneys regenerated. I've seen cancer dissolved,"

So, this is newage quantum woo for Baby Boomers. Yes! You can be in touch with your feelings and the energies of the earth! Yes! You can have every material possession you want!

EoR wonders, though, if everyone has unlimited wealth, where does it all come from?

Well, there's a hint of the answer at the official website. For example, not only can you download the movie (for money), you can buy The Secret Lamp ("your real-life Aladdins Lamp" - $49.95), The Secret Scroll Document Holder ($49.95), the Wealth Beyond Reason Starter Pack ($17.00 - and what exactly is Wealth Beyond Reason anyway?), the Wealth Beyond Reason Power Pack ($37.00), the Secret Book ($23.95), the Secret Audio Book ($29.95), The Secret Soundtrack ($21.95), join the free forum (though, of course, the fee based "Abundant" membership is highly encouraged), and so much more. For money.

Now, a quick question: can any of EoR's readers see where the Wealth Beyond Reason is coming from? Can anyone see where it's going?

Before you think this couldn't possibly work, there are numerous individual stories (sadly, only available to members) with titles such as "Depression Banished For Good", "$30,000 From The Secret!", "Unlimited Magnetism", "Materialized Solid Object", "A million dollars isn't so far away!", "Lotto Winner", "Tooth decay disappeared", "Free Laptop from the universe" and "No More Red Lights". Apart from the eerie similarity to the Subject lines of spam emails and scamming chain letters, there's a huge dose of incredibly woo-filled magic thinking there.

Incidentally, EoR wonders what happens when two drivers approach traffic lights on different roads, and both of them "attract" green lights (at least, that's what he assumes that last testimonial was about - but maybe the writer just eliminated all the brothels in his town instead) at the same time? Do the traffic lights explode in a quantum induced existential crisis? Do they seek intensive counselling from Deepak Chopra?

Luckily, the forum is free, and you can read posts such as this one:

How does a typically skeptical person, like me, start to change a lifetime of skeptical thoughts? People like me tend to try and debunk this sort of stuff, fobbing it off as airy fairy tree hugger rubbish..... sorry, but we do. But this seems like it could really work.

How exactly does it seem like it could work? Because it plays on your baser greed (just like all those Nigerian 419ers, and all those psychics willing to sell you lucky charms that will make you win lotto)? Could it be true because science says so? Yes, of course:

Try reading a bit more into it....some books I'd highly recommend are "Quantum Healing" by Deepak Chopra (only because of the Scientific aspect), "The Book of Secrets" by Deepak Chopra, and "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.

Wow. They forgot to mention "Dr" Emoto. And Sylvia Browne. Who are also scientists of the exact same credibility.

Of course, like all great proven 100% effective ways to wealth, health and happiness, if it doesn't work that doesn't mean it's not working. As this forum poster found out:

But I'm starting to work something out....... Maybe we just THINK these jobs are perfect for us, when in actual fact, they're not. Maybe we are pinning too much on these jobs, thinking "If I can just get this particular job, my life will be perfect". Maybe we should be open to the possibility that we didn't get these jobs because something better is on the cards for us......

Maybe. Maybe it just doesn't work. One is more likely than the other. So you see, even though you used The Secret to try and get your Dream Job, you didn't get it for a secret reason that means something Even More Powerful is coming your way. Sometime. You'll know when you see it. But The Secret works. It does, it does, it does!

It's all like psychic clues: I see something good in the future. Next exam question: how many readers think a prediction like that will come true?

Alternatively, it could be because "For instance, you may really want that job consciously, but subconsciously if you view yourself as unworthy in any way or have any self criticism or doubt, guess what gets messed up?" Yes, Virginia, the psychic was real! The Secret does work! And there is a tooth fairy! You just weren't worthy enough to enjoy its overwhelming benefits, you loathsome spoty failure. More faith! Less questioning! Another poster suggests making "your wishes more generalized". Um, I'd like something sort of nice, sometime. If it's not too much bother, oh great quantum woo spirit of the universe (these people believe some sort of "genie" gives them the gifts), thank you very much.

You can download some wallpapers and other fluff for free at the official website, including the following Universal Cheque, which EoR has filled in in the firm expectation that visualisation will work. It will, it will, it will.



More on The Secret:
'The Secret' to Success? at ABC News.
The Secret of Success at Time.

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Update: This is scary! After filling in that magic cheque, EoR received an email telling him he'd won one million UK pounds in a Microsoft lottery (apparently Bill Gates isn't just giving his money to medical research). All EoR has to do to collect it is to send off his bank account details to a Yahoo email address. Well, The Secret can't fail...