Sunday, February 04, 2007

A Touch Of Frost

EoR enters an alternative reality every week, when nutritionist Helen Frost appears on local radio. To go through all the magic thinking she espouses in her half hour segment would just be too tedious. Instead, here is an overview of her most recent appearance, and the wisdom she dispensed:

Tomatoes are good for prostate cancer. Unfortunately she didn't specify which end you need to insert them in.

A man phoned up who had called the previous day to speak to the radio doctor. Obviously he wasn't happy with the medical advice. He was told by Ms Frost that he wasn't eating the right foods at the right time. Foods need to be eaten at certain times for them to work properly. This is very important. He needs some "fine tuning". He should attend her seminar.

Ms Frost is very much against any foods she considers to be "processed". Processed foods are "pseudo foods" she informed us. They're "dead foods". No good for the body at all. They destroy the taste buds. Avoid them to "bring your tongue back to life".

"The lower the energy the faster we're dying".

If you haven't already noticed, Ms Frost runs regular nutrition seminars. This week's seminar mentions: 21 in half an hour! And even then EoR is sure he missed a couple of mentions. In fact, the "answer" to every query was "attend the seminar". "It will change your life". "A lot of people think they're on a healthy diet until they come to the seminar", she also warned us.

Another caller asked about growing more hair on the head: he needs to avoid dead food. Good food will bring the sleeping hair back to life. Incidentally, there's no such thing as wholemeal bread in Ms Frost's world. It's always "beautiful wholemeal breads". Life comes out of the ground or the tree or it runs around the paddock, she told us. The further from this the less life. Presumably we should slaughter our own animals and rip our own vegetables screaming from the soil, and consume them immediately.

For gout and puffy elbows: come to the seminar. No packaged junky foods. Don't listen to medical practitioners. Gout is not just a condition of the feet: gout is caused by every cell, organ and the brain being full of "acid"! Acid destroys bodies! That's why we have a health crisis. Drugs are just a bandaid. Luckily, this caller refused to go to the doctor: a good thing since he'd just be put on another drug, according to Ms Frost.

A mother rang regarding a ravenous 14 year old (but he was on a healthy diet - "we don't have anything white" mother explained - white food being dead food being evil food). The solution? Bring him to the seminar.

It should come as no surprise that Ms Frost is a Conscious Living Expo speaker and a contributor to the West Australian's Mind&Body supplement. It may be of more concern that she also presents her ideas to primary school students, parents and teachers.

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