Tuesday, March 06, 2007

That Glow Of Health

Via Barista: Vita Radium Suppositories. A traditional source of energy from a natural substance, to be used rectally by men. And a whole page of radioactive quack cures.

Never have to rely on magnetic underlays again: the Radon Pillow is sure to sort you out. While it's working its magic, you could chew on a bit of all-natural high-fibre Radium Bread.

Luckily, such natural healing products are still available today. No holistic home should be without a steady supply of Kometatsukun. Look! It's got a smiling cartoon egg-man on it! It must be good for you! Who cares about the radiation.

Remember though: electromagnetic radiation, microwave ovens, radiotherapy and (boo! hiss!) mobile phone towers are evil. They cause illness, not cure it like these nice lovely products.

If this sort of stuff was more popular, at least we could easily recognise the alties. They'd be the ones glowing in the dark.

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