Monday, March 12, 2007

What EoR Wants To See On TV

EoR has an idea for a pilot for a new television series.

Medical dramas such as Grey's Anatomy and House are becoming passe, as are shows about psychics such as Medium and Supernatural. It's time to combine the two into Psychic Medical Intuitive!

Each show will follow the familiar formula: a patient with a life threatening condition is rushed to Really Big Hospital (fully endowed by Big Pharma through various Swiss bank accounts). Dr Arrogant and his amazingly well-groomed team will spend most of the show attempting various tests and treatments (all of which will be very expensive and induce various more, life-threatening, complications). At various points our heroine, named Anastasia Starwoman (an Indigo child who dreams of one day being able to run her own crystal shop and healing academy, but who is currently forced to work as a cleaner in said hospital) attempts to point out to Dr Arrogant that she can sense the real problem, and heal the patient. Her claims, of course, are scoffed at.

In the final act, Dr Arrogant writes out the ultimate prescription ("You are hereby officially being Sent Home To Die") when Anastasia Starwoman insists on practising her woo on the longsuffering indigent. Since they can no longer come up with any more tests and complications, and hoping her treatment might lead to further medication being required from them, Dr Arrogant and his team permit our heroine to approach the patient.

Going into a trance, communicating with her angels, and muttering about meridians and qi, Anastasia Starwoman waves her hands over the affected patient's organs as she does a little dance. Almost instantly, the patient arises, painfree, walking, and completely cured.

The patient is eternally grateful to his saviour, but Dr Arrogant clearly now has it in for Anastasia and her remarkable gift.... Roll credits.

Of course, if Psychic Medical Intuitive doesn't succeed as a drama on commercial television, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation could always run it as a documentary.

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