Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Spiritually Misguided Lunacy

The MindBodyWallet Festival is coming to Perth, with this year's theme seeming to be animal-woo. EoR is particularly fascinated by Gary Douglas who not only teaches "Money Isn't the Problem - You Are" and "Beyond Orgasm, What else is possible?", but is also presenting Conscious Horse, Conscious Rider which is described as

It is sort of like Horse Whisperer meets What the Bleep, meets Dr. Doolittle, meets Charmed. This workshop is an invitation to step outside of this reality, start to communicate with the animals, and start to see what else is possible. Some of the information presented will contradict all of your ideas about the way things should be. It will challenge everything you have ever learned about animals (and perhaps about yourself), as well as challenge everything you've ever read about them, and everything you've been told by the so-called 'experts'


Strangely, Mr Douglas also admits that the voices in his head tell him

FADS: Don't buy the latest fad as to what will finally change me. I don't need to be changed as much as I need to be listened to.


Luckily, the whole event is based on "science" and the "latest evidence". That would explain the loony presenting separate sessions on urine therapy, dowsing, and the "science" of happyology. EoR would be more interested if he was showing them off all at once.

EoR is most fascinated, however, by Gene Shafer's Spiritually Guided Surgery.

Spiritually Guided Surgery is a holistic form of healing that works on bringing the body into balance. Spiritually Guided Surgery can best be summed up as: Healing from Spirit, through Spirit, to Spirit. Unlike other modalities of healing, where energy is generally transferred through the practitioner to the client, Spiritually Guided Surgery involves surgery in the 5th auric level, which is commonly called the Etheric Template. The Etheric Template then becomes the Etheric Aura, which in turn becomes the physical body. We recommend at least two sessions 1 to 2 weeks apart; you will feel the remarkable difference in your health and in your energy. Please use Spiritually Guided Surgery in conjunction with medical doctors. We do not advise anyone to stop seeing their doctor or stop taking their medication. The benefits of Spiritually Guided Surgery may or may not be immediate and perhaps not what the patient might expect.


So, that's all clear then, isn't it? It operates in some mystic, undetectable realm. It may change things, it may not. Don't give up the real medicine, though.

This is a unique form of healing done by Spirit Surgeons working directly on your Etheric Template. [...] At the heart of this process are the Spirit entities. They are beings that are very interested in helping the human race at this time. Many are seeking to be able to help their Host humans as well as other humans through the Spiritually Guided Surgery Practitioner.


This is not, however, vague waffly woo. Oh, no, not in the least. Remember, the MindBodyWallet Festival is about science, and the Spiritually Guided Surgeons are constantly researching and updating their techniques to take into account the lastest scientific developments on the fifth auric level. Their findings are probably even published in the Journal of Etheric Medicine, detailing the latest double-blind, spirit-controlled studies.

This modality is constantly evolving. The Spiritually Guided Surgeons themselves are continually learning how to improve their techniques. Sometimes the Practitioner 'sees' what appears to be lasers, grinding tools, colour energy, polishers or tools that actually smooth the nerves and other mysterious stuff that we don't have an understanding of at this time. The Spirit Surgeons use no anesthetic of any kind yet there is no pain and no blood loss. Since they are working at the fifth auric level, they can do many more operations in one tenth of the time that our medical doctors do. [...] This modality has been highly evolving over the last two years. At the beginning the Practitioner was told to touch the client. Now two years on, the best healing occurs when the Practitioner touches hardly at all. We have been guided by the Spirit Surgeons to 'touch' the body in 3 places to enhance the healing by guiding the client to open to receive.


EoR wonders if the magic three places are the wallet, the chequebook and the credit card?

Like all the best (scientifically-based) woo healers, you don't even need to come to his surgery. He'll tell his ghost doctors where you are and send them off to operate on their own.

While his own website is rather wishy-washy about the Spiritual Surgeons' capabilities (it's the usual healing on the etheric level, he doesn't do the healing you do (but only if you truly want to) sort of stuff) claims he makes elsewhere are not so reticent (EoR's emphasis):

The Spirit Surgeons can perform actual operations as would normally be performed in a hospital. [...] The Spirit Surgeons can improve the balance of the Body by helping to bring organs, bones, joints to equilibrium. For instance a person with any of the following ailments, Thyroid problems, Cancers, Arthritis Aching joints, Migraines, low back pain, Knee pain can all get some to total relief.


So, as Gene says, there's no pain, no anaesthetic, no blood loss, no recovery time, and instant results, why wouldn't you use it? Particularly when the operations are exactly the same as real operations. He even gets rid of cancers instantaneously, while at the same time "rebalancing" your organs (EoR presumes he means something like moving the heart to the centre of the body so it's bilaterally balanced).

Mr Shafer: EoR would like to let you know about a million dollars which you can get for a couple of minutes of spiritual surgery work. Again, EoR calls on the assistance of all the clairvoyants reading this blog to psychically predict the likelihood of that happening.

2 comments:

  1. Hi, this is Gene Shafer of Spiritually Guided Surgery. Well, we have changed the name to Spiritually Guided Healing to more appropriately name what happens. I enjoyed your comments. I can understand your point of view. All of this healing does appear to be rather wishy washy when you just read the flyer or the web site. The testimonials speak for themselves. I didn't write them. As the flyer mentions we urge everyone to be working with real medical doctors throughout their healing experience. How a person believes is how well they will heal. I wish everyone incredible success with their own choices in life. If you think I can help, let me know. As you have complete choice in your life it is yours always to choose the direction of your healing. Best wishes, Gene Shafer May You all Be Well and Happy

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  2. "Healing" is certainly a better choice than "surgery" since surgery can be tested, whereas "healing" is, EoR agrees, much more wishy-washy.

    As to testimonials, rather than repeat the obvious: http://skepdic.com/testimon.html.

    Oh, and it's good to see how popular you are: http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2006/11/your_friday_dose_of_woo.php.

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