Zapping Good For You

Hulda Clark's method of Zapping Your Way to Happiness appears to have some scientific backing. At least, her book can be purchased through Science Daily. The page is replete with reviews that consistently score it five stars out of five stars.

Again another great book where the critics and negative reviewers are way way off base and did I say clueless. Those of us that have had some biological sciences and other sciences would agree that much of what is said in this one is common sense.

EoR wonders why you should buy it though, when you can use "alternative" methods and download it for free.

The Alternatista's Guide to Solving Computer Problems

Most computer problems can be solved through the use of healing magnets. You should repeatedly pass the magnet over the computer (and especially the hard drive since this is the equivalent of the brain chakra). The stronger the
magnet the greater the healing power.

In the rare circumstances that this doesn't work, homeopathic drops applied daily to the internal workings should succeed. Tincture of data stream (at 100C) is particularly good.

Acupuncture has also been proven to be effective in many cases, since it releases blockages in energy flows. If your computer seems to be running slow this is because of stagnant energy in the data meridians. You can release this energy by applying acupuncture needles to various points on the power supply of the computer.

Placing herbs inside your computer can relieve those annoying problems that seem to have no cause. Try placing feverfew in your floppy disc drive or devil's claw can be spread across your RAM to increase the memory size.

Other problems (lost data, for example) can be due to subluxations in the external data bus. This can be relieved by placing your computer in alignment with local ley lines. Open the case and take hold of the mother board. Apply a swift pushing force to it. If you hear an audible snapping noise you have been successful in relieving the subluxation.

Perhaps the quartz crystal oscillator has become de-energised, and is showing symptoms of dis-ease. If this is the case it is suggested that you re-move it and re-place it with a crystal of amethyst, since amethyst operates at a higher quantum vibrational level, and will look much nicer in your computer.

Optical drives that have trouble reading or writing data are suffering from lowered immune systems, and this is almost always due to the presence of mercury in the drive. Remove the drive and place it in a container of hydrochloric acid for at least 24 hours. This will dissolve the mercury.

Many of you may have computers that are infected with viruses. Echinacea is a proven remedy to prevent such infection, and you should ensure that you place some in your computer every day (though you must make sure you purchase it from the naturopath which may cost more, but you won't be getting the cheap off-the-shelf echinacea which has no effect at all). This will work to prevent all virus infections. However, if your computer is already infected, you need to take stronger action. Take your computer to the seaside, where you will find some dolphins who have telepathically responded to your cry of need. Swim with the dolphins (and the computer). Allow them to transfer their multidimensional healing energies to the computer.

Don't forget the tried and true traditional remedies either: soaking your computer for an hour or so in a warm epsom salts bath can do wonders for it.

If your computer fails to respond to any of these potent therapies, you may need to consult a computer psychic who will channel information from the Akashic Magnetic Tape Data Records to you. The last time EoR did this he was put in touch with an old teletype he hadn't seen in years, and also received a message from 'X" (clearly, a variable EoR had used in a Fortran program years ago) revealing an "attempt to read past end of data cards". He was suitably impressed.

Stupid People

Many alternatistas just don't seem very bright or skilled in assessing logic, evidence and causal relationships, but some people are just so stupid they shouldn't be allowed out on their own... This man was apparently trying to dry a child.

A 21-year-old man accused of putting a baby in a tumble-dryer has been granted bail in the Perth Magistrates Court. Samuel Barnes-Siddall was babysitting the 14-month-old girl at her Warwick home last Thursday while her mother was out. Police allege he placed the child in the dryer, closed the door and turned it on. Detective Senior Constable Deb Newman says the baby was inside the dryer for about two minutes. She says the girl has serious burns to both feet and her left hand, as well as bruises to her forehead and back.

The Probability of Towers of Terror

The RMIT Brain Tumour Inducing Towers received mention on Ockham's Razor, with a discussion by Professor Simon Gandevia, a neurologist from the Prince of Wales Medical Research Institute. Professor Gandevia discusses just how difficult assessing probabilties is.

We thus readily attach a cause to a sequence of random events. Technically, we 'see' or actually 'invent' a positive serial correlation (indicating that one successful shot predicts another).

The cognitive illusion in assessing randomness is that we believe a small sample is as reliable as a large one. This has consequences not just for gamblers. The failure to note the true randomness accompanying a short sequence of outcomes means that scientists are often too easily swayed by the results of small numbers of 'experiments'. As a counter to this cognitive bias, in medicine, clinical trials must include large numbers of participants, alternatively, the results of several 'similar' trials are pooled in what is known as a meta-analysis. This pooling of numbers of participants is a deliberate attempt to counter or dilute the superficial attraction of the initial results of an experiment with small numbers.

Would EoR be surprising anyone here by momentarily reminding everyone of the alternatistas' preference for small trials?

Why do these illusions exist? In the evolutionary world of predator and prey, snap decisions are quite literally vital. It has been argued that because we need time to evaluate probabilities before making a decision, a default system has evolved that rapidly evaluates choices. The Nobel laureate, Francis Crick, is well known for his discoveries about the double helix of our genes, but he later worked in the field of neuroscience. He and his colleagues postulated that humans needed to develop what he termed 'zombie thinking' in order to deal efficiently with the massive sensory input we continuously receive about the external world. This mode of thinking is thus necessary to allow us to react rapidly to external events, so that these cognitive illusions are 'built in' to us, almost certainly for evolutionary reasons. None of us is immune to them, not even those trained as scientists or judges. Our capacity for rational thinking is limited. Propagandists and advertisers are all too well aware of this.

Would EoR be surprising anyone here by momentarily reminding everyone of the alternatistas' 'proof' that 'it works for me'?

Professor Gandevia concludes

The purpose of my talk has been to make you conscientiously cautious in evaluating probabilities. I have also introduced the sometimes harrowing world of cognitive illusions and how we really think. So, while William of Ockham reminds us that conclusions should not (in his words) be 'multiplied beyond necessity', I am reminding you not to 'jump' to them if you have the opportunity for considered reflection.

Would EoR be surprising anyone here by momentarily reminding everyone of the alternatistas' frenzied jumping?

Odd Books

EoR has been spending some time at Odd Books, a delightful site run by Alfred Armstrong.

Mr Armstrong has saved EoR the expense and time of purchasing and reading How to Defend Yourself Against Alien Abduction, an essential text written by Ann Druffel. Apparently, there are various methods of warding of anally probing aliens in the night, such as ceiling fans, or saying "Please go away." Heavy stuff. EoR is amazed that such wimpish aliens manage to ever abduct anyone anywhere.

There's also the wonderful delight of alternatista poet Alcinous B. Jamison, M.D who believed that constipation was the cause of all the body's ills (Hilda Clarke, are you listening?). Sadly, little has changed in the alternatista world since (a prime indicator of holding alternatista beliefs is a refusal to give up those beliefs in the face of all evidence - damn it, it's a religion!). Here's a few stanzas, though EoR finds the first few lines strangely reeking of double entendre.

With perfect form in each respect,
It proudly stood with head erect
And skin surpassing fair,
Surveyed itself from foot to head,
And then complacently it said:
"Naught can with me compare."

When lo the face began to pale,
The body looked too thin and frail,
The cheek had lost its glow;
The tongue a tale of woe did tell,
With nerves impaired its spirits fell;
The fire of life burned low.

In the intestinal canal
Waste matter lay and sad to tell,
Was left from day to day;
And while it was neglected there
It undermined that structure fair,
And caused it to decay.

Or Sidney C Tapp's Why Jesus Was a Man and Not a Woman.

Jesus had to be a Son and not a daughter - a man and not a woman - in order to undergo the temptation of the sex senses of the flesh - the mind of the serpent.

Of course, EoR and all good skeptics know Jesus was a woman, since she had no father to pass on the crucial Y sex chromosone.

For the moment, EoR will conclude with Frank Rudolph Young's Cyclomancy: The Secret of Psychic Power Control (though there's much more to browse on the site) with exercises such as the following (EoR's comments in square brackets):

Exercise. How to Establish Mutual Rapport Fast Between You and Anyone. You run into Martin on the street, in the office, at a social gathering, in your house, or his, the golf course or anywhere else [ie, you run into Martin]. Instantly visualize his torso, from head to thighs [sounds a bit naughty], as secreting within it a profusion of acetylcholine at every Nerve Gap [ooh, ooh, naughty secretions]. Or you can just visualize his torso and at the same time think strongly of a juicy steak or of something else that you relish eating [EoR is beyond comment]. Maintain that thought or vision clearly for two seconds.

This mental picture will automatically be telepathized [now there's a word EoR will have to slip into conversation] into Martin's mind. It will be a picture of a painless torso, for acetylcholine is secreted by your loving nerves, and those are nerves of pleasure, not pain.

Martin's conscious mind will subsequently ignore any pain sensations from his Sensations Recording Center which originated in his torso or which are caused by it reflexly [another word for general conversations], like a stomach headache [how does a stomach get a headache?]. So he feels better immediately and subconsciously associates you with that feeling. He is left eager to meet you or associate with again. You have created mutual rapport between you two ... fast. [and a mutual desire to share "loving" secretions?]

EoR hasn't laughed so much since the last time he listened to Anthony Grzelka.

Mind&Body&Woo

Reading this week's Mind&Body&Woo supplement in the West Australian, EoR wonders about the delights of Nominative Determinisn. Apparently people with names like De'Ath and Paine are forced to become doctors, while the entertaining cast of characters this week are forced to become alternative therapists. We have Madelaine Innocent (WA president of the Australian Homeopathic Association), Bobbi Buckle (reiki healer) and Mr Joy (runs group therapy retreats). It's like a surrealist game of Happy Families.

EoR was fascinated by how potent homeopathy can be in cases of infertility since, as Ms Innocent points out,

homeopathy treated the whole person and not fertility alone.

Something those nasty evidence based medical practitioners would never do.

Ms Innocent holds the contraceptive pill accountable for many fertility difficulties. She said it altered the delicate balance of hormones

So stop taking the contraceptive pill if you want your fertility treatment to work. Thank God we have holistic homeopaths to tell us those sort of things we'd normally miss.

Homeopathy raised the body's immunity, vitality and energy to better cope with life and any stress.

Which rather begs the questions: how are the immune levels, "vitality" and "energy" measured to prove they are "raised"? And how does this relate to fertility? Please include references to published studies in the comments.

At least homeopathy is safe.

"Remedies are subtle and gentle with no side effects," Ms Innocent said.

Liars are often subtle as well, if they're any good at it. And politicians. And scammers. But at least EoR is reassured to know that water drops (or is it sugar pills?) have no side effects. Though the word "side" is redundant.

Not Just the Towers of Terror

It seems the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology (RMIT) is not just the location of an apparently phone tower induced plague of brain tumours, and the Australian Centre for Radiofrequency Bioeffects Research, but it also hosts a Department of Chiropractic, Osteopathy and Complementary Medicine. EoR is beginning to wonder if any real science is undertaken there. Perhaps it should be better termed the Royal Melbourne Institute of Urban Myths and Magic?

EoR is always fascinated by veterinarians who have turned to the dark side (also the unproven, unsupported, illogical and nonphysical side) of medicine. After all, he never knows when he might need a lost tail nailed back on.

As an example, R J Kilmartin B.V.Sc Post Grad Dip Animal Chiropractic discusses seven cases of Canine Acral Lick Granuloma. EoR would presume that someone with a BVSc after their name had at least some understanding of the scientific method, and what constitutes proof. Sadly, the much longer Post Grad Dip Animal Chiropractic seems to have a negating effect.

Of the seven cases briefly described, three were treated with drugs and no chiropractic intervention, one with drugs and no chiropractic treatment (a chiropractic examination was conducted but no vertebral subluxation found - surely a good chiropracter would have found something wrong since all animals and humans have subtle spinal and postural deviations), one was treated by chiropractic methods ("There was an audible release when the adjustment was made.") and the condition resolved (it had previously resolved and recurred while on drug treatments), one was treated unsuccessfully with both drugs and chiropracty though when chiropracty alone was continued the condition resolved after three months, and one received chiropractic treatment "and the lesion resolved" (it is not clear whether only one treatment was undertaken or many, how long the lesion took to resolve, or whether the physical restraint previously utilised was also continued with).

So it appears that, of seven cases, only two resolved while on chiropractic treatment (the third case resolved while on chiropractic treatment, but had previously on a number of such treatments failed to resolve).

Of course, such resolution of a condition that can recur and resolve repeatedly throughout a dog's life does not necessarily indicate any causal link between chiropractic manipulation and resolution. Indeed, Dr Kilmartin states "This study is not a scientific trial". Yet, towards the end of the page this transforms to "ALG's have been successfully treated with chiropractic". All mention of drugs has been dropped by this stage. In the Conclusion, this becomes "Chiropractic has been shown to be an effective non-invasive treatment in this condition". Of course, this is a miss-statement of what occured, since no causal mechanism has been found by which spinal manipulation can resolve a skin condition, nor has it been shown that such manipulation even affected the cause of the disease.

Sadly, Dr Kilmartin is not alone in his belief that "therapies" which subvert and defy the whole basis of the science they studied are real. This vet, for example, utilises such remedies as homeopathy, flower essences, bicycle tubes and string, cabbage (but not cabbage moths), shiatsu, craniosacral and cupping.

And EoR won't even mention this vet since it's by a hoofbeats contributor and contains such wisdom as "Every day horses injure part of their spine." With claims like that, it's not surprising that these people are succeeding in creating their own new market share of needlessly worried owners.

More on The Towers of Terror

The science correspondent on Tony Delroy's Nightlife program on the ABC on Tuesday reported some updates to the RMIT Phone Towers of Terror Saga.

She pointed out various salient points that would lead one to believe that the original reports were a bit of a beat up and scare mongering by the press. Buildings, for example, are made of concrete and steel and tend to be good shielders of Electromagnetic Energy (hence the difficulty getting a good mobile phone signal in them). Mobile phone towers are designed to radiate energy outwards, not downwards (since that is a waste of power).

She also pointed out that a plethora of various tests have been conducted at RMIT, all of them inconclusive, or not finding any source of danger.

As she also pointed out, such clusters of brain tumours are hardly ever sourced to a cause (if there is a cluster occurring, since humans, being pattern observing animals often see patterns where there are none - and often in workplaces that are already stressed). Also that many many studies have been conducted into the Evil Energies of mobile phones, and none have found a cancer causing effect.

She also pointed out how this panic could lead people to taking unnecessary CAT scans (with the inherent irradiation of these people for real) which could well find small anomalies, leading to people having completely unnecessary surgery.

EoR expects none of this to be reported in the mainstream press, since unproven and unfounded scare stories sell more papers. One shouldn't let science and common sense affect reporting or the public.

Whom Do You Trust?

For the last few years the Reader's Digest (okay, not the most prestigious of journals) has published the results of an Australian survey into who we trust, conducted by The Leading Edge. According to this report, the survey

was conducted between February 23 and March 1 this year. The Leading Edge surveyed a sample of 1502 adult Australians asking them to rank 100 individuals, 30 professions and 119 brands. Half the sample was asked how they trusted the individuals and professions in the poll and half about the brands and professions they trust the most.

The survey was also covered by Radio National's Life Matters where it was revealed that the professions we trust the most are ambulance workers and firefighters (pilots, nurses and pharmacists take the next few spots). We trust call centre workers the least, who rate worse than politicians. Tellingly, trusted only just above call centre workers are psychics. So it seems their true worth (ie none at all) is recognised by the population at large.

Apart from call centre workers, these results are the same as last year:

The annual survey of trust, now in its fifth year, found ambulance officers, firefighters and mothers were the most trusted professions, while politicians, car salesmen, real estate agents, psychics and journalists are the least trusted. [...] Reader's Digest editor-in-chief Tom Moore said the findings of the most trusted list mirrored those of the wider trust survey. "It is clear from our survey results that many of Australia's most trusted individuals and professions share a generosity of spirit, while on the flipside, those with a low trust ranking are perceived to be motivated by self-interest," he said.

Psychics motivated by self-interest? Who'd credit it? Anthony Grzelka as a self-serving theatre act only in it for the money?

In contrast to self-seeking self-proclaimed psychics, the top three individuals we trust are all scientists: Dr Fiona Wood (former Australian of the Year), Dr Ian Frazer (current Australian of the Year) and Dr Barry Marshall (Nobel prize winner).

EoR encourages Mr Grzelka to try harder. He's sure Mr Grzelka could make it to the top of next year's list. Perhaps by easily winning the James Randi Prize and donating the money to the ambulance workers...

Tomorrow is Towel Day

In memory of Douglas Adams. Remember your towel.

BARF

EoR proposes an organised resistance against the bullshit claim of the alternatistas about their alternative therapies and medicines. Something along the lines of a Bullshit Alternatista Resistance Front.

A spectre is haunting the world - the spectre of alternative medicine. The alternatistas disdain to conceal their views and aims. They openly declare that their ends can be attained only by the forcible overthrow of all existing scientific reality. Let the logical classes tremble at an Alternatistic revolution. The alternatistas have nothing to lose but their chains of reason. They have a world to win.

Doga: Yoga for the Gullible

EoR was half listening to the ABC vet on the radio today. He was slightly bemused by the vet's suggestion to use "complementary and alternative therapies" for renal problems in raptors, especially since he didn't elaborate. Which therapies would be useful, EoR wondered? Acupuncture? Homeopathy? Herbs? Aura cleansing? Alien rectal probing? The list is endless. But then the vet casually mentioned Yoga for Dogs, yet another "alternative" modality that EoR had been completely unaware of until that moment.

Yoga for Dogs (aka Ruff Yoga aka Doga) appears to be making inroads into Australia.

A new craze in America is 'ruff yoga', or 'doga', where people take their dogs to yoga classes. They read their pooches dog stories, give them a big kiss, and put them in yoga positions so that the dogs can concentrate, which makes it easier for their owners to take them for walks in the park. Does this sound weird to you?

No, not weird. Stupid. A waste of money. Mindnumbingly desperately idiotic. But not necessarily weird. And talking of stupid and idiotic, the holistic vet interviewed claimed animals did yoga naturally because they happen to stretch. Then again, the vet appears to have fallen for the full "I'm too stupid to really be a vet"^* thing:

Doctor Wilson doesn't only do yoga with pets, he also uses homeopathy in treating things like skin complaints.

In the longstanding tradition of the ABC in such matters, the whole issue is presented uncritically. Though some people think such inanities are the stuff of humour.

Doggy Yoga apparently started in the USA (in New York, where they obviously have too much money, too many dogs, and too much time). And, while one yoga teacher states

"It's hard for a dog to be mindful. Because dogs don't understand English, you can't lead them through a guided meditation."

they can still join in the chanting:

A few months ago, Chai began chanting with the students, making a sound like a happy moaning.

EoR expects animal psychics to be joining the yoga teachers any day now to aid communication during exercises.

Suzi Teitelman, the creator of Dog Yoga, was led to her "epiphany" when her dog revealed the inner wisdom to her.

As Crunch's New York-based director of yoga, she had her epiphany when her devoted cocker spaniel, Coali, began hovering by her yoga mat during at-home sessions. "Pretty soon I was getting Coali into positions, and I could just feel him getting happier," says Teitelman, who wears her dog-love proudly. "This is a partner class, where you and your dog get closer by working through poses together."

Does anyone think the dogs enjoy being held down in unusual poses? Does anyone think this has any benefit whatsoever? Does anyone think there is anything more to this than marketing as a way of extracting money?

Q: Why do dogs perform Dog Yoga?
A: Because they can.


^*Also known as the "I can make so much more money with this woo stuff and without the liability issues" thing.

Top Secret Knowledge - Only Available to Those with Money

Grandmaster Choa Kok Sui^* appears to be branching out from the multifarious income streams generated by his Pranic Healing conglomerate, and is now offering spiritual wisdom from both a Christian and a Buddhist perspective.

Such knowledge is very special

Only Very High Lamas hold the Healing Buddha Empowerment or Initiation as it is kept very secret and it is transmitted but to the rare few.

Or to those enlightened newage souls who are already so far advanced on the path to buddhahood that they have $A250. Incidentally, the photo of "Monks giving pranic healing to each other" looks, to EoR's jaded eyes, as monks practising religious disputation. He certainly can't see any auras.

GM Choa Kok Sui will teach What Buddha Really Taught, including such principles as

life is a series of attachment and de-attachment - a skill that allows one to practice high spirituality, compassion towards all, yet not be "sucked in" to peiple's emotional and social chaos.

That's attachment and detachment (EoR is shocked at the GM's spiritually appalling attitude to grammar, English and spelling) in the sense that the GM detaches your cash and attaches it to his bank account. He also has the gall to have himself photographed in front of a statue of the Buddha performing the mudra for protection. He also promises

In every course he teaches there is always experiential segments to ensure that the students are clear about the technique and demonstrates experiments along with many anecdotal stories.

EoR thinks the emphasis is probably on the "experiential" and the "anecdotal" with the "experiments" glossed over. He'd love to see the "experiments" (or even just the published results) but he balks at spending huge amounts of money to support an already wealthy guru.

^*"Grandmaster" as in "I'm a grandmaster because I've appointed myself one".

Guest Blogger

Today's guest blogger is George Orwell, who wrote the following in his "As I Please" column in the Tribune for April 14th, 1944.

ATTACKING Mr C. A. Smith and myself in the Malvern Torch for various remarks about the Christian religion, Mr Sidney Dark grows very angry because I have suggested that the belief in personal immortality is decaying. ‘I would wager,’ he says, ‘that if a Gallup poll were taken seventy-five per cent (of the British population) would confess to a vague belief in survival.’ Writing elsewhere during the same week, Mr Dark puts it at eighty-five per cent.

Now, I find it very rare to meet anyone, of whatever background, who admits to believing in personal immortality. Still, I think it quite likely that if you asked everyone the question and put pencil and paper in his hands, a fairly large number (I am not so free with my percentages as Mr Dark) would admit the possibility that after death there might be ‘something’. The point Mr Dark has missed is that the belief, such as it is, hasn’t the actuality it had for our forefathers. Never, literally never in recent years, have I met anyone who gave me the impression of believing in the next world as firmly as he believed in the existence of, for instance, Australia. Belief in the next world does not influence conduct as it would if it were genuine. With that endless existence beyond death to look forward to, how trivial our lives here would seem! Most Christians profess to believe in Hell. Yet have you ever met a Christian who seemed as afraid of Hell as he was of cancer? Even very devout Christians will make jokes about Hell. They wouldn’t make jokes about leprosy, or R.A.F. pilots with their faces burnt away: the subject is too painful. Here there springs into my mind a little triolet by the late G. K. Chesterton:

It’s a pity that Poppa has sold his soul,
It makes him sizzle at breakfast so.
The money was useful, but still on the whole
It’s a pity that Poppa has sold his soul
When he might have held on like the Baron de Coal,
And not cleared out when the price was low.
It’s a pity that Poppa has sold his soul,
It makes him sizzle at breakfast so.

Chesterton, a Catholic, would presumably have said that he believed in Hell. If his next-door neighbour had been burnt to death he would not have written a comic poem about it, yet he can make jokes about somebody being fried for millions of years. I say that such belief has no reality. It is a sham currency, like the money in Samuel Butler’s Musical Banks.

Drumming Up Business

Tuesday's Mind&Body supplement in the West Australian seems to be becoming the healthy eating guide, covering as it does such topics as wheat grass (a report of Choice magazine's findings that wheat grass contained less vitamins and minerals than 30g of cooked spinach and broccoli, and no or inconclusive evidence as to its cancer prevention/curing abilities), the importance of good diet to prevent depression (which almost makes sense until towards the end the promoter of this topic starts talking about "imbalance" and "dis-ease". In the final paragraph it is evident this is an advertorial since the promoter's seminar is pushed, in which foods that help "mental clarity", amongst other things, will be revealed), weight control for kids (the next big epidemic appears to be childhood obesity, but EoR wonders whether the true cause is mercury in vaccines; after all, the obesity problem has only appeared since the introduction of childhood vaccination), and "Does milk make you sick?" in which a naturopath links "diarrhoea, constipation or muscle pain" to, and only to, lactose intolerance.

As a break from this food-inspired madness, "Get Into the Beat" promotes the positive benefits of drumming by a member of a drumming group which runs "corporate drumming workshops".

Working in a drumming circle is a freeform, improvisational and non-judgmental space to make strong spiritual connections. [...] Mr Koresis says drumming engages the right and left side of the brain and helps with co-ordination. It can also release serotonin and endorphins. Drumming also releases interleukin-2, a protein made by the body that causes infection-fighting cells to multiply.

EoR wonders why, since sex also involves a repetitive, rhythmic activity that engages the right and left sides of the brain, and releases endorphins, that there aren't more corporate sexual intercourse workshops. It would make a change from the normal corporate screwing that most staff get.

Fraud

Australian Doctor for 5 May 2006 has an interesting opinion piece from Dr Kerri Parnell on "Research fraud tarnishing science community's image".

Dr Parnell relates two recent cases of high profile scientific fraud: that of Dr Hwang Woo-suk (who, as most readers will know, fabricated the results of his claims about his stem cell research); and a study by Dr Jon Sudbo published in The Lancet in October 2005 which showed that long term use of NSAIDS was associated with a lower risk of oral cancer (again, all the details were fabricated).

These cases of fraud not only created a sizable stir in the scientific community, but spilled over into the international media and, in the eyes of many, severely tarnished the image of science and scientists.

Yet, EoR sees this as a affirmation of science. It was scientists who initially publicised the fraud, and it was the scientific community who were advised about the fraud and forced to reassess their standards. As Dr Parnell concludes:

One of the biggest worries, say Snyder and Loring in the NEJM, is that such goings-on reinforce the public's view that scientists can't be trusted. But it's a fact of life that "rogues, though rare, are as much of a fact of life in science as in any other endeavour".

So, while we can't be certain that anything scientists publish is not fraudulent, the very nature of the scientific process (peer-review, however poor; replication of experimental findings; being open to scrutiny) provides its own corrective measures. The scientific process may not be perfect, but it is the best method we have yet found to determine how things work.

These cases probably haven't affected the confirmed alternatista's view of science and scientists, but EoR contrasts what has happened to how the alternatistas handle their "discoveries" and "knowledge". Fraud is unknown in their world (indeed, how could it be when they deal with nonexistent entities such as qi, prana, reiki, auras and so on?). Knowledge, also, does not advance. It's impossible to disprove the unprovable, and the whole edicice of alternative beliefs rests on the shaky foundations of, if not fraudulent, at the very least false and unfounded beliefs. Studies are generally not done or needed (for a variety of offered reasons: cannot be tested, too expensive, too busy and so on). Where they are conducted (usually by scientists) they are lauded if confirmatory, and strenuously criticised if negative.

Is fraud in science a bad thing? Of course. Can it be eliminated? Of course not. But at least science is awake to the possibility, and a little more alert now than before. Other belief systems are not nearly so rigourous.

Nova and Wealth

The May issue of Nova has as its theme Wealth, which is probably appropriate given the massive financial enterprise that the Big Altie funded conglomerate of alternative therapies and supplements is.

The editorial points out

Wealth is a controversial topic, too. It's a widely held belief that people on a spiritual path can't make money out of their passion, their skill, their sacrifices. But then others ask "Why not?"

Which ties in nicely with the advertisement on the facing page for ShantiMayi.

ShantiMayi is one of the rarest flowerings of human consciousness, a Spiritual Master. In total dedication to the Spiritual Awakening of all beings. [...] To experience ShantiMayi is to experience Unconditional Love.

This enlightenment can be enjoyed by attending her "Experiences" (the advertisements don't specifiy whether they're talks, meditations, seminars, or telepathic illuminations) which seem to run almost every day, for the correct fee ("Season Cards available"). So the new paradigm is making money? Very newage. In fact, Nova is filled with advertisements for all sorts of woo, at a price. So where did the idea that "people on a spiritual path can't make money" come from? Or are the people advertising not on a spiritual path, but only a monetary one?

"A Meeting with Love" is an article that, in retrospect, is rather unfortunate featuring as it does Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi, she who recently introduced large numbers of people around Australia not to enlightenment, but to measles.

Swami Amritaswarupanda's [the translator's] imperturbability has an infectious quality.

Also, according to Amma

Suffering can totally be removed because suffering is mostly because of poverty and starvation.

The upwardly mobile middle class devotees of Amma will be pleased to know that they do not suffer. Particularly not for health reasons. And especially not by having measles. Amma concludes by giving the correspondent a hug and a kiss to her hair. But hopefully not any pathogens.

Charmaine Saunders (PhD) advises us that

Money is energy, thus its inflow is directly in proportion with your outflow of energy. [...] If you keep money in an "emergency" account, you will for sure attract an emergency to use it for.

Spend your money now! Avert disaster! Let the emergencies hit those poor suckers with the money to afford it! After some more rambling about Postive Thinking, the whole thing rather collapses in a Hallmark-inspired dreary Molesworth "Hello sun! Hello sky!" way:

We live in a miasma of wealth; just look around you - the cloudless, endless blue sky, the tranquil river and the restless sea, a child's laughter, the entertaining playfulness of a cat, the unconditional love of a dog, sand in your toes, the healing power of music, losing yourself in an absorbing book, sitting in your garden on a balmy afternoon, the hug of a friend - the list is infinite.

Meanwhile, Melanie Hubbard enlightens us all as to how the scientific teachings of Master Choa Kok Sui can help us all:

Take a salt bath. [...] Salt is filled with green prana that quickly breaks down dirty energy. [...] Burn sandalwood. [...] Sandalwood is the most cleansing as it contains much high quality green prana. Pour water into a large glass jar or bottle and leave it in the sun for one to two days to absorb solar prana. [...] Face north in important discussions about wealth - your basic chakra will be slightly bigger.

EoR was also rather amused by a letter from Kim Murray regarding recent television advertisements for Lipton's Tea which present various newage beliefs (crystal healing and so on) as loony ideas that are made fun of and satirised mercilessly. Ms Murray, however, is a crystal healer.

[The advertisements] basically suggest that it's all a load of rubbish and the people who are into it are stupid and gullible.

EoR can only concur. Speaking of advertisements, "Bulimia Therapies Australia" had EoR intrigued with its claim for "Coaching for self-recovery" accompanied by a picture of a woman hugging a dolphin and the injunction "For information phone Dolphie". Dolphins have mobile phones now? And why does "Paula" put in an advertisement headed "Need a psychic?" Doesn't she know?

And as for the book review of Dr Sandra Cabot's Bird Flu Virus: Your Personal Survival Guide, the less said the better.

Dr Cabot argues that the best defence is a strong immune system. [The guide] contains invaluable advice about how to use herbs, vegetables and fruits, culinary ingredients, even aromatherapy to build strong immune systems.

Mobile Phone Towers Cause Cancer

The media in Australia is currently promoting a scare story about mobile phone towers and tumours. Seven people at the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology have been diagnosed with brain tumours in the last seven years. Coincidentally, they are all reported to work on the top two floors of a building that also has "telecommunication" towers on its roof. The relevant union is demanding health audits, and implying a link:

Mr McGowan said that while it was as yet unknown whether there is a common link between the different cases, the floors’ proximity to the building roof, where telecommunications towers are erected, is a serious concern.

While no one is actually stating outright that the cause of the cancer is the phone towers, these stories play on the unproven assertion that such a causal link exists. Indeed, in this report various factors for and against such a hypothesis are raised, all in the context of a presumed phone tower induced epidemic.

Most of the affected staff have worked on the top two floors for at least 4 years, and some as long as 10.

So, that means they've worked on the top two floors for different periods? Where else have they worked? And what is "most" in a sample size consisting of only seven people? Or is it only seven?

Some are saying that there could be more and so we're ready for that, but we're keen to hear.

Which is a meaningless statement. "Some are saying". Who? On what basis? With what authority? Yes, there could be more. There could also not be.

At one point, the reporter makes a direct connection:

It's what's on the roof that's causing some concern. Tests are being done on Telstra mobile phone equipment.

As a radiation and occupational health expert points out though:

In most cases, cluster investigations don't produce a nice clear cut answer as to what was the cause of this going on. Occasionally useful information is produced.

EoR is not saying that the brain tumours are not a result of proximity to phone towers, only that there is no evidence for this, and that sloppy reporting is reinforcing the general view of the public that such a link has already been proven. It's the same sort of news reporting crying wolf that now has the general population convinced that vaccinations cause autism.

The original hypothesis about the mobile phone and brain tumour nexus was that the radiation from the phone caused localised tumours in the brain since the phone was applied directly to the head. Indeed, the argument for this was that the tumours were supposedly all formed in areas against which the phone was held. This has not been conclusively proven. Nonetheless, were this hypothesis true, two things should logically follow. The high power transmissions from phone towers should not only cause brain tumours, since the whole body is being irradiated. Secondly, anyone, anywhere, in proximity to phone towers should be showing high rates of tumours (brain or otherwise) if the effect is this strong. This presumably includes humans and animals. This, however, seems to be the only example so far.

EoR also wonders whether, in an Institute of Technology, that phone towers are the only technology these workers have been exposed to.

Finally, EoR is also intrigued that, while studies have found no reproducible link between electromagnetic radiation and tumours, the Australian Centre for Radiofrequency Bioeffects Research is based at the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology (RMIT), with the following amongst its aims:

Increase knowledge by conducting research on possible health effects associated with electromagnetic energy emissions from radiocommunication devices, such as mobile phones and mobile phone towers, and to facilitate translation of
research findings into policy and practice.

Promote and enhance radiofrequency EME research and research outcomes, through broad and impartial collaboration and interaction with other researchers and other organisations.

Coincidence? EoR thinks not, since coincidence has not been mentioned as a possible factor in the brain tumour occurrences.

Ben Goldacre at Bad Science has also recently addressed a similar issue.

Mind&Body (No Brain Required)

The West Australian's Mind&Body [sic] supplement for Tuesday May 2, 2006 is a little gem (to continue the theme of the 34^th Skeptics' Circle for a moment).

The headlining article is "Feng Shui Your Life" (EoR will just leave the sloppy grammar of that for his readers' amusement). The article is headed:

Does sitting in a cluttered, dark lounge room leave you drained and depressed? Clare Morgan reports that feng shui can help.

Not "might", "maybe", or "could" but "can" help. No argument. Indeed, in the whole article the remote possibility that such inanities as

A feng shui study or audit on a building involves looking at both the tangible qi, the things you can see - objects, structures, furniture, roads, rivers, mountains - and the intangible qi, the subtle life force, the energy that we don't see

could, perhaps, be only a belief is broached only once in passing. Otherwise, the necessity to have

qi energy circulating around your home in nice, even circles so everything is calm

is presented as solid, indisputable fact. You know, like all that unintelligible stuff in physics textbooks. Wouldn't everything be calmer if all that "qi energy" wasn't rushing around so much? This is, of course, unscientific gibberish which has no meaning even within its own magical framework, and all presented as solid fact.

Moving on: Pranic Healing. Again, there is only one passing reference to what practitioners "believe". Unfortunately, the rest of the article is presented as fact. Anyway, it must be real, since Sir Charles Gairdner Hospital uses it. A single anecdotal case is presented of a cancer patient who (note the scientific style of reporting)

After undergoing pranic healing before his last bout of chemotherapy, he didn't develop any sores and left the hospital after five days, instead of 21 days.

Nonetheless, the practitioner featured states

Pranic healing will not cure cancer but Mrs Yorg said it might help adjust the body's energy levels to help recovery.

So does it or doesn't it cure? Or is the important word there "might"? And what effect is the chemotherapy having?

In other articles shiatsu is featured (more references to the already accepted and proven manipulation of qi), an article on calcium supplements being of little apparent benefit for children (based on a study in the Cochrane Database - must mix some real science in there to subliminally convince the readers that everything is science), and "TOXIC METALS LINKED TO ILL HEALTH" (which is hardly newsworthy enough to warrant it being in capitals like that), mixing information with fact with fantasy, all without any boundaries.

Toxic metal burden may be the reason naturopathic or medical treatments fail to work.

Or maybe they just don't work at all. Anything "may" be the reason. Anyway, get yourself a hair analysis to find all the toxic metals in your system, and

Eat organic food, drink filtered water and avoid chemicals in the home.

A worthy goal. EoR is going to spend a whole day avoiding all chemicals in his home. But since everything is made up of chemicals how will he do it? Oh no, he's just realised his own body is made up of chemicals! In order to achieve balanced energy levels, he's going to have to avoid himself. Perhaps some sort of transdimensional temporal loop...

The final article of interest is "BACK CRACKING QUESTIONED" which reports a metastudy of 26 studies on spinal manipulation, conducted by Professor Edzard Ernst. It was found there was "little evidence" of the treatment's effectiveness, and some potentially serious rare complications. Predictably, the chiropracters and osteopaths refuse to assess any new information about their "science" (it's a university course, it must be a real science - EoR believes it's part of the Faculty of Medicine and Magic) and update their knowledge, but simply stick their fingers in their ears.

But chiropracters and osteopaths in Australia have slammed the study, backing their British colleagues who accused the review team of focussing on negative results.

Well, says EoR... If the results are negative, the results are negative. That's what science is about. Scientists (not chiropracters or osteopaths who live in a fantasy world where nothing ever changes and they only ever have to look at studies that support their beliefs) frequently have to face up to results that are contradictory to expectations.

The rest of the article provides all the reasons about why osteopathy and chiropracty are A Good Thing, Work Really Well, and are not at all dangerous or deluded.

Psychic Entertainment

Psychics? Really truly gifted superhuman individuals with a hotline to the land of the dead and All Things Hidden? Or theatre acts?

EoR considers them rather boring and repetitive entertainers (if you're entertained by that sort of thing) but many people are dazzled by their patter and their stage act and some are even fooled into believing that they are really channelling information from supraphysical sources (these people presumably also think stage magicians really do perform magical acts - sawing women in half and levitating people - and that all stunts in movies happen really exactly as they appear: the truth that these things are illusions, enhanced by sound and light and wishful thinking and, yes, deception is much more mundane).

What does the Department of Consumer and Employment Protection have to say about psychics?

Preying on people’s fears, loneliness and desire to be loved and rich is a host of unscrupulous clairvoyants, mediums, astral advisers and just outright charlatans who are costing vulnerable people thousands. "Whilst we accept that there is a place in today’s society for those who choose to be involved with psychic type activities for personal entertainment or recreation, there is an alarming number of shysters with questionable abilities who are only focussed on ripping people off", Consumer Protection Commissioner Patrick Walker said.

Let EoR just repeat that: personal entertainment or recreation.

What do the promoters think? Well, Anthony Grzelka's nationwide tour is listed under Theatre and Performances.

Legislation no longer addresses witchcraft or fortune telling as crimes in Australia, though Section 178BB of the Crimes Act may be of some relevance:

obtaining money by false or misleading statements which are known to be false or misleading.

Someone who is regularly attending a psychic and is also addicted to illegal drugs and who attends a Medical Practitioner must be notified to the Department of Health:

The Drugs of Addiction Notification Regulations define a person as being addicted to drugs where: [...] he/she is under a psychic or physical dependence to take a drug of addiction or any substitute.

Though EoR thinks he might have read that wrong.

Of course, as a performer, you have to maintain the illusion, the patter, and the belief that what you do is real. It's part of the "theatre" and "performance".

Reiki, colour therapy, crystal healing, and meditation are now common remedies prescribed to cope with the stresses of life. [...] "I connect to loved ones passed to deliver messages to the living. The messages are always powered by love and bring a great sense of healing and relief to those receiving them," said Anthony.

Sometimes though, they just can't help telling the truth:

Anthony's funny

Following on from his encounter with The Grzelka Groupie, EoR can see three possible explanations for Mr Grzelka's uncanny powers (at least, his believers consider them uncanny, EoR considers them a less than average cold reading act):

• Mr Grzelka really does communicate with the dead. Sorry, "those who have passed". Given his repetitive fishing, wrong guesses, question asking rather than statement making, and extremely low hit rate, this would seem to be a very low probability. If he does perform such communication, the evidence and accuracy is so low that such an assertion cannot be supported.


• Mr Grzelka really does hear voices speaking to him. This is not an unknown phenomenon, particularly in cases of schizophrenia. While this, also, is not a high probability, it is possible that such a disorder led him to believe he is a clairvoyant and to his subsequent public performances. In this case, therapeutic treatment is recommended and warranted.


• Mr Grzelka really does not hear any voices, and is fully conscious and aware that what he does is a stage act with the end goal of receiving remuneration. In the absence of any medical evidence to support or deny the second possibility, occam's razor leads EoR inevitably to accept this option as true.