Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Blistering Barnacles, Tintin's Motion-Captured!

Tintin is returning, again. This time on the big screen,with big money and motion-capture technology. Can the likes of Spielberg and Jackson and their lavish CGI recreate the simplicity and clarity of Herge's style? Wouldn't Tintin be more suited to a Miyazaki-type rendition?
Three stories are to be selected for production. Will they adapt scenarios to suit our times? And which do you think they'll choose? I guess as follows...

"Tintin in the Axis of Evil": Tintin is captured whilst seeking the WMD.
Beheading is imminent. Snowy fetches Captain Haddock, who, in a drunken
outburst, is mistaken for Saddam's ghost. He engineers Tintin's release,
only to be thrown into Abu Ghraib by the 'coalition of the willing'. Haddock's alcohol dependency convinces the guards of his true identity.

"Tintin in the Republic of Congo": Deep in the jungle, where guerrillas are waring with gorillas in the mist, Tintin and Snowy hunt the legendary Mokele-mbembe. Tintin fells the ancient beast and discovers it was but one of a thriving population. Local pygmies embrace the bushmeat trade. Meanwhile, in London, Ebola is rife and Thomson and Thompson investigate. Back at Heathrow, Tintin is arrested for quarantine violation.

"Tintin - Destination Mars": When Calculus mysteriously summons his friends, they fear he has been kidnapped by North Koreans. On coming to his aid, Tintin, Haddock and Snowy become pioneers in China's Marsproject. They explore the red planet and its extraterrestrial life. An extraterrestrial Chineseherbal-bushmeat trade is born.

So... we shall have to wait and see. I hope there are no aliens, armies or orcs in the new productions.

3 comments:

  1. Thankyou EoR, I nearly pissed myself laughing. The thought of Captain Haddock being mistaken for Saddam's ghost is far too plausible to be dropped on the cutting-room floor.

    My god, it's been years since I've read Tintin. I don't think my voice had broken yet...

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  2. Actually, that was a post by Lucy, Jr.

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  3. Hi Dubito, glad you enjoyed that - time to dig out your collection.

    The similarity occurred when Saddam appeared on trial - rather dishevelled in a dark jacket and ranting at the proceedings. Maybe I'd been reading a Tintin at the time, it was almost as if one had modelled on the other - but I know who came first :)

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