Thursday, April 05, 2007

SCIO Schmio

EoR just can't get enough of the amazing and incredible and altogether unbelievable Scientific Consciousness Interface Operation system (SCIO) machine. He promises not to turn this site into a Daily SCIO Oddity (though he could very easily), but he can't resist taking one more look at the general world of SCIO delusional thinking.

Inergetix Inc provides a good history of the SCIO and its relatives. The original machine (the EPFX - they all have technical sounding acronymic names) was such a good scam it didn't even measure anything (EoR bets it was just as effective as all its followers). Then came the QXCI (Quantum Xrroid Consciousness Interface - as Inergetix points out "xrroid" is just a made-up word).

The QXCI made the bold step of taking into the realm of computerized medical diagnostics a process that was previously only applied in oracles and divination systems like the Tarot or I Ching. Just as the Tarot and I Ching have proven over the centuries to be valuable tools to access complex information, so has the QXCI been a valuable addition to many practitioners.

EoR missed the bit in science class where it was pointed out how valuable the Tarot and I Ching were to "access complex information". Stochastic is not necessarily complex. Of course, because the QXCI simply generates random data, the very next test "result" is going to be completely different. You'd think that would be an insuperable barrier to having people believe this sort of quackery was effective. Not a bit of it:

One major problem with any oracle or divination system, and here also the QXCI and SCIO make no exception, is that if you let the dice roll twice, have the I Ching sticks fall again, or make another scan with the QXCI, the results will be totally different. Traditionally people would be warned not to consult the oracle again because this would make it angry, and QXCI warns people not to do a second test within 48 hours because this would create too much turmoil in the energy field of the patient.

"Turmoil in the energy field"! Oooh. EoR feels quite faint even thinking about it. You certainly wouldn't want that to happen. Incidentally, Ingergetix have another way around this problem. They simply run thousands of (random) tests and then look for "predominant tendencies". Inergetix then introduces their own Inergetic-CoRe system (which EoR won't go into in any detail - you've seen it all before) other than to point out that it's far better than the SCIO because, while it fails to give an "energetic analysis", at least it's better than the SCIO's "FAKE not 'real' energetic biofeedback analysis". The SCIO is a fake? Surely people wouldn't be pushing unproven, illogical devices to unsuspecting consumers?

And never mind NASA technology, the SCIO seems to incorporate Star Trek technology:

The EPFX-SCIO can be calibrated to a person or animal anywhere in the world using the birth date, place and name as a trivector locator. Frequency is then transmitted via subspace with the same accuracy as an in-person session. Frequency penetration is not as great as when physically connected, which is often preferable for animals or people sensitive to frequency.

Presumably, if you know someone's birth date, place and name, you could theoretically transmit evil frequencies as well. Shouldn't these devices be controlled as potentially lethal weapons? And why aren't the US Army using them in Iraq? What if Osama bin Laden got hold of one?

The SCIO can cure depression (actually, EoR needs to point out that all these sites point out that these magic machines, in fact, do nothing. There's always the standard altie disclaimer that they don't diagnose or treat anything, but only "help the body heal itself". Keep taking your conventional treatment).

Next we usually check the neurotransmitters in the brain to see what is out of balance. We are able to balance the high and the low neurotransmitters. We are able to energetically boost neurotransmitters that are in low supply. This often helps to start lifting the depression fog. [...] Additional programs include Obsession release (to reduce worry and anxiety), Schizophrenic reunion to self, Reprogramming of karma, Stimulation of creativity, Higher purpose alignment for accelerating spiritual growth

EoR's always wanted his karma "reprogrammed", but thought that was a task normally relegated only to divinities or, at least, required living a virtuous life. Maybe the scammers using these machines need to regularly reprogram their own evil karma after ripping people off?

The SCIO also works for hepatitis C:

We do many specific things to help their system. We always boost the immune system. We do biofeedback on the liver to strengthen it. We do 13 major types of therapy to strengthen the way the body functions.

Of course:

It is important to remember that we do not substitute for doctors, nor do we ever confuse this point. We do not diagnose or prescribe. We simply energize the client to heal themselves. [...] We like to point out that our therapies coincide very nicely with traditional medicine, and in fact complement medicine and pharmaceuticals.

Parkinson's Disease, as well:

Our system is able, via distance healing, to address many of the underlying theorized causes of Parkinsons. We never offer a cure of any sort for any type of degenerative disease. However, because of the detailed ways that energetics can address body deficiencies, we enable our clients to do a better job of healing themselves.

The SCIO claims to be able to perform "neurological repair" and to " rebalance neurotransmitter imbalances in the brain". Well, if that isn't a cure for Parkinson's Disease, EoR doesn't know what is. Where's the Nobel prize for these pioneers of medicine? Except, of course, that there appear to be zero studies actually proving those claims of altering neurotransmitter levels. Which you would have thought would have been easy to prove. If it was real. Unfortunately, that would require real work, and real proof. Making unsubtantiated advertising claims is just so much easier, and far more lucrative.

Of course, there's that little legal disclaimer again:

We like to point out that our therapies coincide very nicely with traditional medicine, and in fact complement medicine and pharmaceuticals.

If the SCIO doesn't work, and you need something really effective, then maybe the LIFE System is for you. You can tell it's better because they provide this helpful little graph which shows... Well, nothing really. What's the x-scale measuring? What's the y-scale measuring? Who knows?

Anyway, even though the LIFE System has the "Dimensional Transformation - Past Life Program, The Mystic Programs, Meditation Stimulation, Clairvoyance Stimulation, Shaman Stimulation and many more" just like the SCIO, its "Color, Chakra and Aura programs are especially beautiful in the L.I.F.E System". Also (and EoR doesn't know if this is an advantage or not):

The QXCI and SCIO are filled with programs that have not been developed or just do not work. For example: Breast augmentation. This just becomes confusing to the practitioner who will find themselves wondering around and spending hours in programs that ultimately don’t get results. These programs just serve to frustrate a practitioner and devour huge amounts of valuable time.

Why shouldn't it get results? It uses exactly the same quantum mathematical subspace bioresonating bullshit as the rest of the machine. Could it be, perhaps, that breast size is something that even a completely fooled customer might notice wasn't changing?

And never mind Star Trek technology, the LIFE System goes way beyond that:

Each compound has its own energetic signature or algorithm. Each item within the test matrix has its own fractal image (A fractal image is like the sacred song of the item or compound)

But wait! There's more:

External 24/7/365 UEB (Universal Energetic Balancing) Prayer Program for prayer wheel applications for more than one person at a time.

If the machine doesn't work, pray! It's got all the bases covered!

While PubMed returns some results for "Quantum Consciousness Interface" (not studies, but four theoretical papers), it's never heard of "Xrroid". Funny that.

You could almost think it was an unproven, baseless scam solely intended to make money, and lead people into false hope.


  1. I need to get my karma reprogrammed to jump ahead a thousand or so lifecycles so I would no longer feel the urge to beat these a**holes about the head and shoulders.
    Although, I would like to see some fractal breast images...


  2. Bruce: you should know that the internet provides access to the totality of information. Here's a fractal breast from EoR's local university: breast1.jpg

  3. You could almost think it was an unproven, baseless scam solely intended to make money, and lead people into false hope.

    You mean: "You could almost think it was an unproven, baseless scam solely intended to make money by leading people into false hope."


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