Chi Whiz: The Surprising Amazing World Of Altie Reality

The latest issue of Nova is a joy to behold. EoR could fairly feel it vibrating with quantum healing powers as he picked it up (this month's theme: chi - though EoR continues his push to rename it "fairy dust" since fairy dust has exactly the same amount of science, proof, validity and evidence, and is a much more accurate term).

Rather than analyse any particular article (since there's nothing you haven't seen before) EoR thought it would be interesting to skim the amazing weltanschauung of the target audience of this magazine.

There's a lot of stuff about "spiritual insight", "meditation", "connecting" and so on. Now, EoR has no problem with this. If people feel the need to seek out the Meaning of Life, then all well and good. But when that search contradicts reality, a choice needs to be made. Most people would redefine their search. Alties instead deny reality.

The inside cover is a full page ad for a remarkable (aren't they all?) new (aren't they all?) unique (aren't they all?) totally effective (aren't they all?) easy (aren't they all?) method of weight loss "backed by quantum physics". EOR can't see how that would work though he supposes if you were inside a high energy particle accelerator, it might reduce your weight by knocking a few electrons off. "Defies common sense wisdom". Indeed.

There's an article on the wonders of swimming with dolphins: "Apparently, humans and dolphins are the only two species on earth to have evolved with highly intelligent brains." EoR's not too sure about some humans having highly intelligent brains, based on that fallacious statement. It goes on to describe a woman with a PhD in psychology who states "dolphins connect with your higher self" and who is now using her toddler as a "research subject". This is probably not official research, and it is probably not subject to Ethics Committee approval. The "journalist" mentions her fear of sharks. Shouldn't she also be welcoming the opportunity to "connect" with them? Especially as she admires dolphins for having achieved their higher evolutionary form millions of years ago - sharks did that far earlier. They must be much "higher" beings than dolphins, and surely they have more "connectedness" to impart?

Then there's the effusive report of a Deepak Chopra seminar. Fear and stress are "responsible for all the major epidemics of our time like heart disease, cancer and degenerative disorders." Also, presumably, polio, AIDS, autism etc etc. EoR got lost when the article went on about "Possibility waves allow the 'immeasurable potential' for synchronicity - or to use Chopra's expression 'non-local correlation' - meaning events that occur outside the space-time nexus as we currently understand it." Later, Deepak states "Death offers opportunities for quantum leaps in creativity and evolution." As a groundbreaking genius cutting edge scientist, EoR is surprised he hasn't taken the opportunity himself. He'd still be able to report back to us, since he seems to exist outside the space-time-logic nexus.

Teya Skae (MA, BA, Dip Health Sciences, Dip Clinical Nutrition as well as a slew of alternative letters) states colonics are "quite beneficial to the whole body and especially the mind. This is because in TCM, the bowels (large intestine) and the mind are linked as one". This probably explains why these people seem to have brains that are filled with faecal matter. Reading between the lines (and EoR acknowledges that's dangerous when dealing with alties), Ms Skae seems to be arguing that we know the brain and bowel are clearly not linked as one. However, because an ancient belief system (Traditional Chinese Medicine) once argued that this nonexistent linkage existed) we should continue to belief this falsehood in order to somehow improve health. It's the scientific equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and shouting "La, la, la! I'm not listening!" very very loudly.