Scientific Woo Still Woo

There are so many "energetic" healers out there (and EoR doesn't mean the busy type, he means the ones repairing torn and worn auras) that it's a wonder there's any bad energy left to chastise. Most of these wonder-merchants babble on about vibrations, energy levels, meridians, and so on, but it's much more serious when it all becomes scientific. Which is what the ACMOS Method is all about.

Science and measurement enable interrogation at our body’s energetic level to be carried out with considerable precision. It is as a result of the considerable research and validation carried out since 1985 by René NACCACHIAN, engineer, searcher in biophysics, a bioenergetician, Doctor in energetic medicine, sciences and molecular biology. It is an accident that has driven this interest very close to traditional Chinese medicine and acupuncture in particular. It is following very committed effort and research that has lead to the light of high technology that is offered by modern science. The ACMOS Method and its extremely sophisticated equipment that it uses, are the results proven of fundamental discoveries. Today the progress that has been made in the matter of health by the application of the ACMOS Method is measurable and , from the opinions and experiences of numerous specialists around the world this is both considerable and incontestable.

There's lots of talk about the body's energy, the body's currents, the body's switches, the body's resistors and the body's fuses. In fact, the human body is a veritable switchboard with wires and electrical components all through it, apparently.

It is of great importance not to interfere with the ‘fuses’ that the body has activated and deactivated intentionally in order to maintain the balance and the symmetry of the energetic fields. On the other hand there is the need to re-establish the function of the fusible that the body cannot manage any longer by itself. This is the object of the ACMOS Method with its aim to re-establish the global energetic balance.

Okay, this explanation is really only amusing for a short while, but what EoR finds impressive are all the woo machines this method uses to "prove" all these magic energies. There's the ACMOS Lecher Antenna (how can you resist something with a name like that?) with its "periscopic antenna". It's useful, somehow (it isn't clear from the site - not that a lot is) in applying High dilution psy homeopathy. There's the ACMOS7 ("a high-tech instru-ment which identifies areas of energy blockage") which seems to be a skin resistance meter rebadged as a "Biofeedback Energy Testing Unit". There's the delightfully named Quantacmos (which appears to be yet another cheap penlight rebadged as an acupuncture point stimulator - no prices are given but EoR suspects it's priced far more than a standard penlight). And the Acmopol which detects "ambient electromagnetic pollution" (EoR already has one of those - it's called a radio and it's far more hightech than this little box of wires).

Very simple to use, the Acmopol has a buzzer which operates immediately when the pollution exceeds the tolerable level for a normal person. If the person is tired or ill, then 20 centimetres should be added to the distance indicated by the Acmopol buzzer.

Presumably, the 20cm requirement has been proven scientifically. Well, at least as scientifically as the rest of this stuff. But what really worries EoR is that the very act of holding and turning on the Acmopol means the hand is being irradiated with electromagnetic radiation! Strangely, this discrepancy is ignored. Why is EoR not surprised?

You can undertake the four levels of training ("it is not necessary to possess particular medical knowledge to attend the ACMOS Courses and training") each of which takes three days (after the first three days you're already awarded a "diploma"!). You will learn about scientifically proven concepts such as "The Marvellous Vessels", "The 34 Levels of Energy Regulation", "The 5 Element Law" and "The difference between Acmos and pathos" (very little in EoR's opinion).

For those who want to become proficient in the use of the Lecher Antenna, this site is a good starting point.

This text comes from the booklet sold with the antenna, it is more an attempt of explanation that an absolute truth. It highlights the sinusoidal way of the electrical current with bellies of tension and nodes of intensity. [...] With a generator of Gigahertz, emitting in the centimetric waves, the correspondence on the antenna of Lecher can be checked. The centimetric scale of the antenna also makes it possible to appreciate harmonies with organic resonance in the electromagnetic spectrum.

The Lecher Antenna appears to be a hightech dowsing rod. And presumably about as efficient. There's a wonderful exercise in using it to find magnetic north (EoR wonders how well this would work if the user was in a closed room and spun around beforehand to disorientate him? And that this possibility was also eliminated?). Of course, even with the most sensitive dowsing rod and the most sensitive dowser, sometimes these things don't work exactly as expected. Nonetheless, the site provides helpful hints about what might have gone wrong. Number one on the list:

Are you sure that your compass works ?

In the dowsers' world, it's much more likely that a compass suddenly stops finding north, than that the magic divining stick could possible fail. Number two on the list:

Are you sure that the place where you are is electromagnetically neutral. Indeed if it is not, the compass will give you a false direction, perhaps you were right, start again the exercise in an other place.

Which, as EoR's astute readers will note, is the same as Reason #1. Reason three is something about only accepting successes and ignoring failures, and reason four is something about accidentally finding magnetic South. But it's not the magic antenna! No, it works! All the time. Just let me try it again... Okay, best of three... Um, best of five... Best of seven...