Sunday, December 10, 2006

No Jokes About Holes In The Head. Honestly.

Supporters of altiedom often accuse skeptics of being "close minded", demanding an "open mind" as a prerequisite to accepting their beliefs. Others might argue that alties' minds are so open their brains are falling out. Yet other alties might argue that this is a good thing and set up a clinic in Mexico to turn all true believers into brainless zombies.

A long time supporter of trepanning, EoR has always believed that those who accept Deepak Chopra's world-that-does-not-exist-in-reality, the delusional chats of Anthony Grzelka with spirits, and the spoonbending of Uri Geller, should flock in droves to the trepanning clinic.

As the trepanation diagram makes clear, the scientific basis of this therapy goes something like this: the brain contains two fluids - blood and water (cerobrospinal fluid, but immediately forget this term and just think of it as water only). Blood supplies the brain with energy, water does not. When the skull sutures seal "the brain can no longer pulsate on the heartbeat". Therefore: "the arteries and capillaries can no longer expand" with each heartbeat. Therefore: "a certain amount of blood falls from the brain". Therefore: "the energy and spontaneity associated with youth diminish". Drilling a hole in the head allows this pulsation to return to normal and "a significant amount of energy, lost with adulthood, returns".

Without going into the real dynamics of sustaining pressure and avoiding gravity to maintain a blood flow to the brain, EoR can already feel a rush of blood to the head. Never mind that this leaves Crainiosacral Therapy in the dark, since that particular woo argues that the skull sutures remain able to be manipulated by those with the special touch to "rebalance" the body (and postulates a completely different "pulse" to the heartbeat), but this whole argument is, appropriately enough, full of holes.

Peter Halvorson is the man with the vision to see the whole world trepanned to increase our mental capabilites, and realise the potential of the "Mechanism of Brainbloodvolume, which describes the esoteric practices of world religions in scientific vocabulary". Like all good woos, he has established the theory, the mechanism, and the practise, and now, finally, starts to look for the "scientific proof".

The scientific investigation has now begun. ITAG provided the technologically superior Codman cranial perforator, manufactured by Johnson & Johnson, to be used there. The surgeon is highly qualified and internationally recognized.

Unfortunately, the amazing, incredible, drilling marvel of a surgeon is also irredeemably anonymous and, according to the Professional Experience & Qualifications of Doctors page, also invisible and undocumented.

On the positive side, there's a nice page of trepanning techniques and instruments.

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