Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Does My Aura Look Big in These?

Chris Brazel ("the house whisperer" [sic]) is not just your usual psychic-woo-for-a-fee merchant (phone consultations $A95 per hour, home consultations start at $A399 - but "I will leave you with a section of cards, Buddha paper, lucky envelopes and tips for the home"), business consultations ($A600 "and up"), corporate consultations (too expensive to even give a price), nor does she just do personal numerology as well as "house numerology", nor can she claim to "You name it, she's done it", including
She has a great knowledge, experience and understanding of eastern, western, and Hindu energy flows of the body and of the environment. She has specialised in Feng Shui, Colour and Numerology for the past nine years. She has also qualified in Reflexology, Accupressure, Kinesiology, Reiki, Yoga, Health and Fitness as well as Strength and Conditioning Coach. [...] Other areas that Chris has succeeded in include marathon running, world level squash, high level golf, triathlons, running and kayaking. She’s been divorced and moved on, renovating houses, starting her own business, property development, motivational speaking, life coaching, mentoring, health and fitness professional, strength and conditioning coach...

(EoR gets the feeling she can't stick at anything - he's tired just reading that list) but she's also developed the world-shattering, ground-breaking, wholly-original therapy of Coloured Undies!
Change the colour of your undies. Change your life today!™

Ms Brazel isn't giving much away (you need to buy her merchandise, or join as a Basic Member or a Gold Member to learn the full magic), but
Coloured Undies is simply about attitude. When you have the right attitude you can move mountains. [...] You can work with colours personally as well as in your environment. Working with combinations of colours can be extremely effect when you want to change something in your life. Colour can start the domino effect for change. Simply starting with the colour of your undies, you can start to create change. The undies is an extremely effect way to work as it is first colour that you place on your body each day. It is a colour that you wear in a very personal area of the body. The hips are what propel you forward to the future, so when choosing a particular colour for the undies you are choosing what it is that you wish to move to for the future. Each day when you select the type and colour of your undies you are making an intention for what you want in life. The undies work as a trigger for the mind. What I like about it is that no one needs to know what it is that you are aiming for.

Nor how stupid you are paying money for this newage guff and a series of postive affirmations in your email.


  1. I know a way to change the color of undies. It's only one way: white -> brown. It involves getting one of these people to speak into them. I think you can get yellow by washing the undies between repeat sessions.

  2. Is she ripping off Captain Underpants?

  3. Liz here from I Speak of Dreams.

    I have a refrigerator magnet that reads, "put on your big-girl panties and deal!".

    This about takes the cake for dumbness.

  4. Paul: no, I haven't encountered that particular nutter before. No wonder I feel angry, I'm wearing red underwear! Oh, hang on, I'm still angry about these weirdos even when I'm wearing blue underwear...

    I'm also having trouble typing this since the beige keyboard is forcing my hands into a "beige hand position".

  5. Will aluminium foil undies deflect these loonies? Time to adjust my beanie.


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