Royal Show - Charles not amused?

I dragged myself around the grounds this morning - mainly to see the horses.
Checked out the marketting pavilion for woo. Was less prominent than expected - suppose they usually hold their own psychic fairs and here they have strong competition from the likes of vege peelers, dog fur removers, termite exterminators and massage sofas.

Was a slick Chinese Acupoint Massage booth set up like a progressive dinner. A front row stool offered a taster: "squat for a free neck rub" which progressed to the middle row: "sit on the chair and pay for an upper body rub" then at the rear were couches for the "full deal and hand over all your money rub". I decided to sample the reflexology. It involved some pretty unnatural things with my feet - hammering, rotation, toe plucking etc. At the end I expected a diagnosis but it was just all honest hard work and no woo. The masseur said they had flown in from Sydney for quick cash.

However, was not entirely disappointed. Found an Acu-Pal stand selling little bottles of herbal magic lotion for $20 (or two for $30). It professed "it's not a miracle ... only natural" and dealt with shingles, anaemia, cold sores, varicose veins, toothache, thyroid problems, peptic ulcer, warts, stomach pain, asthma and ADHD. A sign stated "According to Eastern Medicine all ailments are resultant from a blockage in the lymphatic system". Aren't they taking liberties? What about the chakras and qi?

I searched in vain for a woo show bag. Closest were "Fairy Tales" (complete with wand and a pink tutu), Magic bag (with cards, fake poo and blood capsules), Natural Lollies, and best of all, Idiot Bag (plastic roaches and a Dr Fart).