Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Adults Only Woo

Via Liz Ditz (what was she doing, looking at this site?) comes a link that not only reeks of woo, but also of bad Chinese English: Cynthia's Shop which promises

Tighten vagina, nourish soft sex, and inspire climax and perfect love! Enjoy the perfect sex. HYY™ rapidly tighten vagina and recover the flexibility of vaginal muscles, rejuvenate cells and improve the regeneration of cells, nourish ovary and activate the potential of incretion, thus due to self-balance system keep the flexibility of vaginal muscles in long-term, tighten vagina, nourish soft sex, and inspire climax and perfect love!

This remarkable achievement is done by using various (mostly unspecified) mixes of herbs:

HYY™ is not chemical medicine. Some other kinds of chemical medicines use hormone components to achieve effects in short time that could make you addictive. HYY™ is made by natural Chinese herbs; The package includes (no1)TIGHT NOURISHING ESSENTIAL(30ml), (no2)TIGHT VAGINA ASTRINGENT ESSENTIAL(30ml), and OVARY VAGINA FLEXIBILITY PELLET(6 pills).

EoR always appreciates chemical-free herbs. But what's left when the chemicals are removed? Even better, the herbs used are "rare chinese herbs" such as thyme, frankincense and rose.

The instructions for use are fairly mind boggling.

Remove the muzzle in the top of bottle; put the circumrotating sprayer on, directly shot at vagina mouse one or two times, then gently put the spray gun into vagina 1cm-2cm, spray vagina membrane one to three times.

Circumrotating sprayers! Vaginal mice! This is like some bad taste fetish porn site (not that EoR knows that from personal experience, you understand - he's just heard about these sorts of things). And if you need to ask where you have to place the "flexibility pellets" you'll have to go looking for yourself (but why do you have to rub the oil on clockwise? what terrible effects could happen if you go widdershins?).


  1. Unmuzzling the beast sounds somewhat reckless.

  2. [Possibly too obscure] No, we just sell shoes. [/Possibly too obscure]

  3. Liz here I Speak of Dreams. The site was briefly posted to Blogher -- I read it in my RSS feed. I think the Blogher posting was a form of spam--splogging, so it was removed.

    It made me laugh out loud, but since my blog is erm not about sexual issues, I sent it on to you.


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