Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Grzelka Witticisms

EoR wasn't actually going to bother with Australia's Greatest Psychic Medium after his last post on Mr Grzelka. But then he caught his radio act again. And couldn't restrain himself.

This show had a replacement host who demonstrated her impartiality by first relating her own visit to a psychic who apparently had her in tears within minutes after channelling her grandmother.

Mr Grzelka then told us about some study in the US where the world's top five psychics (EoR wonders how these ratings are determined? Is there a World Psychic Championship? Is it a bit like World Championship Wrestling?) were put up against the world's top five mentalists (or was it five people off the street? Mr Grzelka couldn't make up his mind). EoR presumes this was something run by Gary Schwartz, but he could be wrong since Mr Grzelka was less than specific. The psychics far outperformed the mentalists (or the street people), scoring an accuracy rate of 70 to 80 percent. Which rather puts Mr Grzelka's previously claimed accuracy rate of only 60 percent to shame.

Nonetheless, talking to the dead is real. Mr Grzelka told us so. In fact, whether what he channels is accurate or not, talking to the dead is real. Again, Mr Grzelka told us so. But if what he's telling us is accurate or inaccurate is a minor, ignorable detail, what's the point? Isn't that the fundamental reason people go to these charlatans?

One elderly lady phoned up obviously distraught and said she felt "useless". EoR wasn't sure if he was more worried that someone would phone up a radio psychic for counselling, or that a radio psychic provided that counselling.

Never mind the 60% accuracy rate, almost all of Mr Grzelka's guesses ("Who's MA?", "Is your husband here?" - no, the caller wasn't married) were wrong or failed to strike a chord. Of course, note the important word there: guesses. Almost everything Mr Grzelka comes up with is a question, not a statement.

Then a woman who had lost her wedding ring phoned up. At last, EoR thought, something that needed a specific answer, and that could prove once and for all that Mr Grzelka wasn't just a showman with a repetitive line in bullshit and a gullible audience, but really had extrasensory powers as yet unknown to humanity. But EoR was disappointed yet again. Mr Grzelka told the caller the ring was "gone". Yes. That's what she said. But where to? Why couldn't he say? He knew "someone" had found it, and that it hadn't been destroyed. So who had it? Tell us, please. EoR is betting the caller finds it under the cushions on the sofa...

Mr Grzelka then went off on a slight physical tangent, explaining how the universe functions in 30 seconds or less. EoR now understands that "everything" vibrates on the planet, including us. And that we alternate between lower and higher vibrations. EoR, however, doesn't have a damn clue what that actually means in the real world the rest of us live in. How does Mr Grzelka know this? Where are his measurements? Lower and higher vibrations within what range? Answers please.

Oh, and the old "miscarriage or termination" ploy made yet another showing. As did the "Are you going in for minor surgery?". These are like classic catchphrases. EoR expects them in every Grzelka performance. And it's good night from me. And it's good night from him.

1 comment:

  1. Anthony's 3-part reflection on behalf of a "suicider" and his guide "Diary of the teenage dead" is such a rip from "The Lovely Bones" that he should be charged for infringement.


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