Thursday, July 06, 2006

'Tis The Season To Be Jollier

EoR already has his christmas wish list written up. He wants one of these.

Here at Life Technology Research International® we are continuously developing and evaluating new products and The Hyperdimensional Oscillator™ has certainly given us cause for excitement. The device incorporates several elements of futuristic Tesla technology, psychotronics and quantum physics to allow the user to access other dimensions of space time.

"Futuristic Tesla technology"! That must be like futuristic valve technology - some sort of hyperspace alternative reality steam-driven cyberpunk technology. That must be the "other dimensions" this device accesses. It's like a Tardis in a pendant. But then, Tesla did invent UFOs (the site says so), and a radio to chat to other planets with (the site says so - 2 hours a day for twenty years, regular as clockwork), so who is EoR to complain?

"Psychotronics"! Isn't that what Hari Seldon used in Asimov's Foundation books to determine the future course of history?

"Several elements of quantum physics"! Uncertainty? Spin? Strangeness?

The circuit is so advanced that it is actually a superconductor powered by scalar energies, the biophoton energy of the cosmos.

"Biophoton energy"! The last time EoR encountered that it was in a Superman comic. And yet it's a "superconducter" in a tiny package with no apparent method of cooling or bringing it below the transition temperature. This should scoop the pool at the next Nobel prizes.

Only $US89.95. EoR considers that a bargain for a woo device with no basis in reality, no measurable effects, and no scientific backing of any sort.

This product is designed for experimentation and research purposes only.

1 comment:

  1. Does it come with Tesla coils, like in Red Alert?


Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.