Anthony Grzelka Flogs A Dead Dog

Anthony Grzelka, aka Myzadek, has been busy in South Australia solving crimes psychically (just like all real psychics do - where would all our poor overworked and incompetent police force be without them?). EoR challenges any reader to consider Bonehead solves ghost whisperer's skeleton mystery and not believe in the amazing, accurate, awe-inspiring and astonishing powers that Mr Grzelka displays. Why, he even puts Allison Dubois into the shade.

For the benefit of his readers, here's a summary of events as reported by Jack Kerr - though it's important to remember that:

Comedian Greg Fleet calls South Australia the "shallow bush grave capital of the world", and the state's largest regional centre, Mt Gambier, has so many hectares and hectares of sinkhole-riddled pine forests that it is bound to have a dark saga or two waiting to be uncovered.

Driving out to a forest that "the police have their suspicions about", at one point Mr Grzelka tells the reporter to turn left. He then tells the driver to stop and

he tells me he feels the spirit of a young bloke in his 30s called John who was found about five or ten years ago.

So it appears that the dead, even if they're not around anymore, still leave their spirits behind. Mr Grzelka continues:

I do believe this person was murdered and I feel like...either I was choked or stabbed or something around this upper area here. I do feel like there was more than one person responsible for my passing here and I feel that there was at least two people and one of these I think is somewhat known to this person. It was not a pre-calculated thing. Maybe an argument got out of hand or there was an argument that got out of hand or there was something else that happened and all of a sudden this guy winds up dead. I actually believe that this person's been found though. I don't feel like he's still here. I don't think he was (well hidden), maybe some scrub thrown over the top of him. Certainly wasn't buried. Very shabbily done.

"Something" around the upper area. Well, that would cover most murders. Very few people are murdered by having their legs broken. One of the murderers is "somewhat known". What does that mean? Known? Not known? Just met? Knew his first name? It covers a multitude of sins. The murder wasn't pre-calculated. Well, since the vast majority of murders are not premeditated, that's not even really guessing. There was some sort of argument before the murder. Again, it would be very surprising if there wasn't; most people would argue about whether they should be murdered or not. A shallow bush grave. Just like every other bush grave. It's like Mr Grzelka is giving a lecture on the most common set of circumstances leading to a body being hidden in bushland. Psychic powers - schmychic powers.

Mr Grzelka, ever the true showman, sets out to find John (who, as he's said, isn't there any more anyway, so why is he bothering?). Then comes an amazing revelation that no psychic before him would have guessed:

It's funny, because I feel like there's a signpost that would say, like, water or there would be some connection to like a water supply and that will mark the road that we need to turn down.

Come on! This is straight out of the Psychic's Cold Reading Manual, page one. Water. Or like water. Or near the road. Etc. Keep guessing.

The investigators head towards a dam, but the "feeling" gets weaker. So, not near water then? Heading back, they discover Something. An old water tank. The investigators seem amazed to find this, which just shows how little bushwalking they've done. Old water tanks are not uncommon on old land either once occupied, or used by forestry services. Things get slightly confused here, but it seems they find a well (spotted earlier) but that's not the Spot either. Then Mr Grzelka's wife nearly falls down a partially obscured 15 metre shaft (those damn spirits never warn you when you really need them).

At the bottom of the shaft they see the bones of a child's arm.

After all that wandering (in circles, no less), Mr Grzelka is still stating he knew exactly where to go:

But it's weird how we got led to this exact spot and perhaps have found some bones that could be human.

A vet identifies the bones as those of a dog.

I don't even feel the vibration (or the calling from the spirit) now, so I feel that we've go it right. It might be different if he was undiscovered. But he's been found and I just feel like I'm in the area where perhaps he was found. [...] It's just weird how it's all fitted in to place and we've got to this exact spot.

So, John, who was murdered by two or more people, and buried in a shallow grave near water, fits into place so well that he's become a dog who fell down a disused shaft. Now that's spooky! But wait... Maybe the dog's name was John... Maybe he was killed by two or more people as a result of an argument ("Fetch, John!", "No!"). Maybe it really is all true...

Or, then again, it could just be a whole series of reasonable (but not psychically inspired) guesses that all prove to be wrong, and a random discovery of an animal skeleton. Did Mr Grzelka actually get anything right here? Apart from selecting the right gullible reporter? And wasting police time as a result?

Instead of finding dead dogs, why doesn't he do everyone a service and locate the Claremont Serial Killer? Think of the fame he'd achieve by really showing how really powerful his powers are. Of course, since the whole thing is a cheap carnival act, it will never happen.



Psi Power - Dedicated to Anthony Grzelka
Grzelka Witticisms
Grzelka: Psychics Real, Skeptics Cynics
Talking to the Dead
Scams from Beyond