More talking to animals

Oh dear. Yet another magic woman who chats to animals. And heals.

She also regularly receives "planetary wisdom" from whales and rays. The exact nature of this wisdom is not specified, but it doesn't seem to be working:

Madeleine Walker uses her skills of holistic stress management and psycho-neuro-immunology to promote the concept of the healing power of the mind to communicate with the body and facilitate self healing. Madeleine also incorporates the healing potential of colour and imagery to release blocked emotions or irrational negative self-belief patterns.

Holistic stress management and psycho-neuro-immunology? Where's Hari Seldon when you need him? It can't be working though, because it clearly isn't removing the irrational self-belief patterns she espouses.

She can make up a story just by receiving a photograph, a hair sample and, most importantly, some money.

Upon forming a loving bond with your animals’ energy Madeleine opens a communication channel enabling your animal friend to describe past trauma’s, explain their past life connection with you through their reincarnation, advise on your health issues and issues within the home and family. Animals may also provide a link to loved ones in spirit.

Swoon at her heartbreaking dolphin story (heartbreaking especially because of the terrible colour scheme she uses — pink on pink? Really — which guinea pig or reincarnated gerbil suggested that would be a good idea?).

Having swum with wild dolphins I had not considering a visit to this or any resort which kept these marvelous creatures captive prior to receiving this message. the other dolphins there ’told’ me her name was Mani and that she was very sad and had trouble with her swim bladder.

[...]

Lo and behold the dolphin that came up to me was Mani! The keepers said her name was Serena, but I knew it was her! .

You just can't prove the truly delusional wrong! The keepers were wrong! Ms Walker knew the dolphin's real name! EoR imagines the keepers shaking their heads at the mad woman insisting she had the dolphin's real name, as they edge slowly towards the exit...

We left the resort feeling weighed down with melancholy and helplessness for the dolphins

EoR knows the feeling. He feels the same way about people who believe that

That night I awoke to feel Mani on my shoulder again. She told me that dolphins have twelve higher soul chakras and whales had twenty-one. These soul chakras were linked into the planetary grids - I was amazed at this information. She asked me to balance her chakras (physical and soul)

She's been to South Africa to chat to the White Lion Star Beings but, again, no secrets are revealed.

There's also a gallery but EoR has to confess he usually expects more than one image for a page to qualify as a 'gallery'. It's a black cat, without explanation for its presence, though EoR presumes this is the form Ms Walker adopts during full moons. Perhaps it's basking in its two hundred and seven soul chakras. Or however many cats have.

And, just to prove that anyone can fall for this sort of madness, she now has a book out with a testimonial from a vet:

“An Exchange of Love will appeal to a wide range of readers from animal enthusiasts to professionals in animal care. The book will complement the work of veterinary surgeons offering holistic treatment modalities as well as raising student awareness of the bit they don't get taught in college! It is a must for anyone interested in the often complex issues shared between animal and carer” Judith Webster MRCVS BSc Vet Med, Veterinary Surgeon who refers clients to Madeleine

EoR has always felt that the veterinary profession often fails its customers by neglecting to address past life issues, chakra balancing, and soul retrieval, and that colleges are neglecting their duties to the planetary grid by not devoting the bulk of their courses to these subjects.

Luckily, some psychics are much more honest about the whole scam...